the holidays (somebody had to start it)

[puala__koala]

okay, so for the past week ive been hearing everyone talking about how theyre planning to stuff themselves like pigs during the holiday season. not only that, but they mentioned this as we were eating food (like last week my friend brought in a bunch of pizza into my youth group and during lunch at school).

i was trying to keep my cool about this but eventually snapped yesterday. my friend was talking about how exited she was for all the food and i freaked out, saying that americans glorify this disgusting tradition of obesity (which they really do. its disgusting!). i said they were all like pigs and that i didnt know how they could just eat all that food (which is really ironic because i do it everyday. im seriously trying to stop and and failing miserably). my friends got really upset because of it (although they didnt say anything)

but idk. i think this goes to show how nervous i am about the holidays. starting yesterday, ive been all day around food. its scary. i have bulimia and i wanna stop!! the problem is, if i take one bite, i cant stop eating. if i dont eat, then it looks suspicious. i just... idk. i feel so stressed and i dont wanna go to all these parties.

also, my feet are really blue and my hands are really grey. they also hurt. is this normal? and ive been thirsty as crap and drinking a lot (ive been drinking nonstop today and i only threw up half my dinner. yesterday i threw up only once too and drank lots of water.)

oh but yeah, how do you guys feel about the holidays? please tell me somebody understands

[RunningWild]

Holidays are the scariest time for people with eating disorders. Believe me, I know it.

I try to treat them, at least eating wise, like any other day. Regardless of what the people around me are doing, I keep my meal plan in my head and stick to it. Normally the food is very good, so I just try to enjoy it and the company of the people around me.

You might even give yourself a pep talk beforehand, and try to familiarize yourself with the menu, to sort of get a game plan. If you're prepared, you'll be less likely to go overboard.

Remember, the holidays are a time to celebrate and not let ED take over!

Best wishes.

[Musical]

Not all Americans "glorify the tradition of obesity", and not all of them eat too much. But anyways, I feel your pain. You're around food a lot more, and there's usually a lot more people are you. As Emmy said, try and keep a positive attitude and try to do a little preparing before you do anything so you don't get overwhelmed. Keep your composure no matter what. And also, one meal is not going to hurt you. Or two. Or three. I know it's easier said than done, but try and enjoy food. It's good for you and you need it to stay healthy (and alive). But if you don't keep it down, then there's really no point in eating it. Something I do in situations like these is take small bites of little sandwiches and stuff every so often, so then when we eat our meal, I'm less likely to end up binging because I'm less hungry (and in return, I eat a little less- but that involves eating a full meal...). I just realize that it's good and there's no reason for me to throw it up.

And I think you need to talk to a family member or doctor or something. Especially if they don't know what going on with you, eating disorders are extremely dangerous.. I'm pretty stupid when it comes to medical stuff, but I think that doesn't sound good and you need to talk to somebody because your problem gets worse.

[puala__koala]

yeah you guys are right i should take this time to just relax and eat good food.. but im petrified of going overboard.. idk.

yeah im seriously considering going to a doctor. im a lot thirstier than i was yesterday, and im also REALLY hungry. i actually could barely sleep last night because i was so hungry/thirsty. i also have a bunch of layers of things to warm my feet, and even under the covers, THEYRE STILL COLD!!! fuck...

[Palmolive]

I can completely relate to the way you're feeling. It's terryfying me.

But you're a strong person, keep reminding yourself that. It's okay to eat, it's not a bad thing so try and relax and just enjoy yourself.

I hope you have a lovely Christmas!
Jessie.

[xx_fallenangel_xx]

I know what you mean. I have had some really bad days leading up to this holiday. I was restircting like crazy and then I binged and everything is thrown off. And meanwhile, everyone is talking about food and it is inpossible to ignore it.

[Ess The Morgenstern *]

Bulimia has stolen me some Christmas during past years, I know the feeling, all the 'forbidden foods' all around... it's so tempting, but if I learnt something during my nearly 5 months of abstinence, it's that eating slowly, feeling each bit of healthy food and this kind of food in special ocassions, healthy like fruit, non-greasy meat, fish and such has a good, different, lasting texture and flavour, while food like cakes end up tasting like flour with sugar, so they aren't tempting anymore. I'm not saying you have to avoid it, of course. At some points it's not that bad eating this kind of food, just notice the difference. First days it's hard to stop b-p, but being strong you'll go further, try not to be alone. After some time you'll look back and say 'If I've come this far when I thought I couldn't, it's not worth it ruining it now' it helps me everyday, because I won't say I'm cured, I fell into EDNOS (constantly dieting), but for now, I keep it not binging neither purging and hey, if I could, you can. Be strong xx

[puala__koala]

Originally Posted by sheissoweird

Bulimia has stolen me some Christmas during past years, I know the feeling, all the 'forbidden foods' all around... it's so tempting, but if I learnt something during my nearly 5 months of abstinence, it's that eating slowly, feeling each bit of healthy food and this kind of food in special ocassions, healthy like fruit, non-greasy meat, fish and such has a good, different, lasting texture and flavour, while food like cakes end up tasting like flour with sugar, so they aren't tempting anymore. I'm not saying you have to avoid it, of course. At some points it's not that bad eating this kind of food, just notice the difference. First days it's hard to stop b-p, but being strong you'll go further, try not to be alone. After some time you'll look back and say 'If I've come this far when I thought I couldn't, it's not worth it ruining it now' it helps me everyday, because I won't say I'm cured, I fell into EDNOS (constantly dieting), but for now, I keep it not binging neither purging and hey, if I could, you can. Be strong xx

yeah i eat slowly too (i normally try to chew 50 times per bite because i heard thats the best for digestion, which its kind of ironic because i know ill probalby throw it up anyways). but yeah, i still like junk food (which junk food to me is anything that contains white flour, white sugar, fatty cheeses, high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oil, any sort of meat, most dairy products, etc.) the only one of those ive actually stuck to though is not eating meat (not one bite since i was 12). im really proud of that. the rest i need to learn how to not eat.