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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Obliviate Offline
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Worried about my Best Friend - December 26th 2010, 09:43 PM

So uhm, I don't know much about Eating Disorders, and I need a lot of advice on them if you guys wouldn't mind.
Where to start. Well, My best friend has lost stupid amounts of weight recently. She's dropped 4 dress sizes over the past 10 months... which I dont think is very healthy
Now it might be me over reacting, but I am so worried about her.
She never eats. She drinks coke zero all the time and I never see her eating. Some of her her excuses are 'I'm not hungry' .. 'I'm fat, I need to lose weight' .. 'I already ate' .. 'I'll eat later'.
Well.. In July it got stupid. She was constantly tired, not eating whatsoever. She passed out in PE and had to go to the nurses office. They rang her mother and she went home. I dont know what went off.. and I dont think she saw any doctors or anything.
Now I see her coming to school with these bruises that she doesn't know how she got, and when she's getting ready for PE her ribs stick out really horribly.
We were on MSN last month and she told me she kept throwing her food up. I asked her if she was doing it on purpose, or whether her body was rejecting it and she didn't answer me. I just let it go, thinking nothing of it.. I didnt want to push her into anything.
I am so sorry that this is long.. But I really need help.. I am so worried about her

EDIT: I removed her dress size because I am not sure if they're allowed





Last edited by Obliviate; December 26th 2010 at 09:56 PM.
   
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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - December 26th 2010, 09:57 PM

I went through the same thing with my best friend, and my biggest regret was no prying further into her excuses or doing something about it.
It really does sound like your friend has an ED. Mal-nutrient from not eating could cause her to easily bruise, and add that to the excuses, the dizziness and purging (it doesn't sound like her body is just rejecting the food); and it's all pretty clear.
You should confront your friend about it in the gentlest way you can; let her know how worried you are, and that you've picked up on all the signs. Next step is to go to her parents or another adult about it; it sounds like it's getting serious and she really needs help.
Good luck <3


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I'll tough it out, I won't give in. When I'm knocked down I'll get up again.
As long as my dream's alive, I Will Survive~
   
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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - December 26th 2010, 10:08 PM

I guess you never think it could happen to someone you know. I keep telling her to eat. At school she just sits there. Lots of us have picked up on it. but there's always that seed of doubt..
How they hell do I bring the conversation up ?




   
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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - December 26th 2010, 10:10 PM

Hey Charli.

I guess I have a few eating problems myself, but I watched my sister quickly slip in to anorexia and before I knew it she ended up in hospital for nearly a year.

I think it's quite clear your friend has issues surrounding her eating and her weight. I guess I personally think the best thing for you to do first is confront her. Don't have a go or accuse, just let her know you have been noticing these things and its worrying you because you care and love her and want her to be okay. Try and encourage her to open up to you. If she does, thats great and you can perhaps encourage her to seek help and even go to her doctor with her.

If she doesn't or if she refused to seek help, I suggest telling someone only because she's clearly lost a lot of weight and if she's been passing it and this is the reason why, it's clearly having a negative affect on her and has already gone to far. Of course, there is a risk that your friend will fall out with you, but I'd hope in the end she will realize why you did what you did. You could talk to her parents (You never know they may already suspect something) or you can talk to a teacher etc at school. I know it can feel horrible for you having to go and tell someone something you know your friend might be annoyed about, but right now, her health is more important because we don't want it to get any worse and because she deserves the help, it can just be hard to reach out sometimes.

And always remember to look after yourself okay? Don't talk on to much. You know where I am kidda.

Jessie <3


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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - December 27th 2010, 02:00 AM

Hey Charli,

Telling your friend to eat is going to do nothing but push her away. You need to talk to her, alone if you can and in person if possible. Texting might be easier if she won't talk. Ask her if she's okay, and ask her to talk to her. Let her know that you are there for her, and that you are willing to listen. If things start to get worse, or you can't convince her to talk to someone, even just you, then you might want to talk to your school counselor or nurse. Make sure that you take care of yourself too, Charli.


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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - December 27th 2010, 02:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RainbowSkies View Post

How they hell do I bring the conversation up ?
Just tell her (whether it be over AIM, e-mail, phone, etc.) that you've been worried about her lately, and ask her if she's okay. If she lies and say she is, explain to her the extent of your worry, and that you don't think she is okay. Be as sensitive as possible.
It might be easier to do bring it up over a letter/e-mail, but that's just my personal opinion.


We all need somebody to lean on <3
~I will survive, I will endure.
When the going's rough, you can be sure;
I'll tough it out, I won't give in. When I'm knocked down I'll get up again.
As long as my dream's alive, I Will Survive~
   
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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - December 27th 2010, 11:28 AM

Thankyou all so much.. Im going to talk to her when she comes on line in a minute
Here goessss <3

EDIT: So I talked to her.. she doesn't want to go and see a doctor. She admitted to starving herself.. but not to throwing her food up.. I don't know if I should believe her or not :/
I told her why I was worried and what made me think it.. and she said she was happy I had asked her
But she was also saying that she's happy with the size she is now and doesn't want to put any weight on, Or lose any more. In a way its comforting, that she doesnt want to get slimmer.. but I think she needs to put weight on :s I suppose one step at a time.
uhmm.. She cleared things up about what happened in July. She had to go and see one of the people in school called Mr.Crowson...He is basically part of student services. He told her that if she didnt start eating he would make her go and see him weekly to get weighed.
Should I tell him what's gone off? I dont want things to get worse than they are? :/





Last edited by Obliviate; December 27th 2010 at 04:25 PM.
   
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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - December 29th 2010, 02:03 AM

I'm really glad you talked to her and it seems to have went well =)
Maybe give it a few days and see if she sticks to the whole not losing any more weight thing. If she still seems to be not doing so healthy, or her current weight really concerns you; then I think talking to this Mr. Crowson is probably a good idea. He already knows about the situation and is in the best position to get her help.


We all need somebody to lean on <3
~I will survive, I will endure.
When the going's rough, you can be sure;
I'll tough it out, I won't give in. When I'm knocked down I'll get up again.
As long as my dream's alive, I Will Survive~
   
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Re: Worried about my Best Friend - January 10th 2011, 09:40 PM

Hello RainbowSkies

I hope your friend is a bit better now. Hopefully 2011 will be a better year for her. It is so hard watching a friend go through it. You were right to seek advice.

Good luck with everything.
PS Sounds like you are from UK - me too!
   
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