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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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magirlsroc Offline
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Question I want the problem, not the sulution.. - December 30th 2010, 02:32 PM

I know I have eating problems.
I know I have issues with my weight, and my appearance.
I'm willing to call it an eating disorder now, after research into the topic.

EDNOS.
I'm certin I have it.
I starve myself some days, restrict regliously on others.
I count, and track calories and exercise on a blog.
I weigh myself daily. And when I don't it eats me away, and I'm depressed all day. I binge when no one watches, and hate myself afterwards.

But I'm just the fat girl. I always have been. I'm overweight. No one would believe me. So, I won't tell.
"Everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner"
I love having this control over my body. My mind is another matter.

So, I'm glad I'm the fat girl, I know how to sneak, and hide things.
I know how bad this is, I know the effects, I know the risks.

But I don't want help.

That's scary, considering the news of the French anorexia model who just died.

But I don't want help.

Now what?
   
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Casey. Offline
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Re: I want the problem, not the sulution.. - December 31st 2010, 03:15 AM

Now what? Well, the obvious answer is to get help. But, maybe I'm confused here. Are you saying that you want an eating disorder? Because that's seriously not something to want. I have one. Had it for seven or eight years now. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's a killer disease, literally. If you think you have an eating disorder, go to a doctor and get a diagnosis. Self-diagnosising isn't always the best thing, seeing a doctor is for the best. As they can help you, if you let them.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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Mikey Offline
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Re: I want the problem, not the sulution.. - December 31st 2010, 09:28 PM

Listen, I know exactly how you're standing on the line because we are on similar chapters.
I'm glad you have realized the affects and risks that you are placing on your body - those health and psychological problems only grow greater the further you spiral into this. It may seem like you won't end up in the Model's position, but are you ready for your family if this results in death. I'm not trying to scare you - that's my last intention dear. But I don't want you to experience the hardships and negativity that's hidden but the wonders of controlling what enters and leaves your body. I have lost numerous friends, lied to the ones I love, missed out on meeting people, experiencing new things just because of my ignorance and selfishness. Not to mention, the blood tests, and dehydration that became often soon after I began starving myself.
Like Casey has stated, please seek help.
Even if you think they won't believe your words, please turn to someone for support and advice before it's far down this road.
Please feel free msg me if you have any questions or if you ever need someone to speak too.
Take care.



You will come to realize that what appears today to be a sacrafice will prove instead to be the greatest investment you ever made.
   
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