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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Evanescent Offline
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Name: Nicole (Nikki)
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Relapse? - January 1st 2011, 12:47 AM

I haven't really been having difficulty with my ED for about 8 or 9 months but yesterday I ate a little more food than I normally do and I had the sudden urge to purge. I have rarely ever purged before, maybe 3 times total, usually I have severe ana but I just felt so bad that I ate I just wanted it out of my body. My dads friends have been bringing their girlfriends to our house for the past two days and I look at them and how beautiful they are and I feel disgusted with myself. I am afraid that I am heading towards another relapse.

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
Nicole AKA Nikki
Artist, Poet, and Future Social Worker

Last edited by Casey.; January 3rd 2011 at 10:07 PM. Reason: Changing prefix to fit with the guidelines
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RunningWild Offline
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Re: Relapse? - January 1st 2011, 12:54 AM

A slip-up like this doesn't have to mean relapse. You might consider writing in a journal how you felt before you started eating, while you were eating, and after, and try to learn about why you felt the need to use symptoms. If you figure out what your feelings were, it can help you to avoid the triggers the next time. Tell yourself that you have come far to convince yourself that your body is a beautiful thing and don't compare yourself to others, because that is always dangerous. Have confidence and look at this instance as nothing more than a little stumbling block.

Good luck and be well!

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emma01 Offline
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Re: Relapse? - January 1st 2011, 02:23 AM

Its okay, slip ups do happen all the time, in fact yesterday my mum jokingly called me a pig and said she was sure I jsut had lunch, but see I took that the wrong way, and I skipped two meals but then see I kept the wiring to my nasogastric tube, so i went to look at it, and realised I just have to eat to be healthy, and I got back on track today, had breakfast and felt so much better! Now I know myself I just have to not take offence to what people say and realise that I need to eat when I am hungry and when I am supposed to. I also now know what things can set me back and that is comments about me eating quite a large amount!, infact people have told me I look good now I have put on weight and even that doesn't bother me! But I think I have that sussed out now and I should be okay!

So basically if you can find out why you are feeling this way again, then you can try and work towards accepting that it happened and recognising that purging is bad for you, you need food to be healthy. Food is just a normal thing that people do quite unconsciously most of the time! Try and treat food as normal as possible!
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