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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Reflections Offline
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Ugh... reply fast if you can... - January 7th 2011, 04:40 PM

Alright... Well.. .I haven't weighed in in a while, and I'm scared to see the number... Not because I think I've gained... but I think I've lost, and not a small number either... My eating is okay, but I do A LOT of walking/biking, even in the winter. AND to top it off, my sleeping pill gives me the most HORRID taste in my mouth, that I can't eat... Ya... You guessed it. :\ I'm not eating much anymore, I'm not purging like I use to, or using laxitives(yet ) but still.. I'm scarred if I see the number, either way I'm on the verge of relapse now... If I've lost, I'll love it and well ya... If I've ganied... I'll hate it and do everything I can to lose it... I don'tknow why I'm posting this... I just hate this... I thought I had this under control... I guess not... I saw what it dd to my mom.. They were doing weigh ins to see if I had gained, asked if I was trying to gain(i lied and said yes), they were searching me daily, checking my room. Checking when I went for a shower, to see if I was purging... Ugh... I just can't do this again, and I know I don't want to... But i do... Smoking isn't helping either, it's helping me not eat. When I'm hungry I go for a smoke, and I'm not hungry after that... Am i sick? I mean, who in their right mind would want to do this again...

OFf to class, was hoping for a respons, but it's fine! I'l be on when I get home.. Going to bed but will reply anyways...god I'm tired...

Last edited by Casey.; January 9th 2011 at 11:46 PM. Reason: Removing prefix to fit with the guidelines.
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Re: Ugh... reply fast if you can... - January 7th 2011, 07:45 PM

Hey,
well it's good you've managed to stay off the scale for a bit, it can be very tempting. It's normal to worry about the number, but you can't allow it to control your life. If you've lost weight then it would be a good idea to try really hard and not purge in any form. Lower numbers seem great but just remember how horrid your E.D. must of been and that you don't want to go back to that place. Please try and not be to discouraged, and just use the results as motivation to stay healthy. Best of luck [=
   
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Re: Ugh... reply fast if you can... - January 8th 2011, 11:55 PM

first off, smoking won't fix anything, whether it's physically or menatly. It's ot good for any part off you and really won't help this problem. I'm glad your not trying purging, HAPPY DAY!!!!! Still, the number on the scale will tell you if you are healthy or not. And you really need to know that. Look up eating a balanced meal and from their figure out how to keep a good diet and weight. You should be happy with who you are, but even I can't stand my weight and wish I could lose it all. But this is all up to you and if you make good choices to keep yourself strong, inside and out.
   
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Re: Ugh... reply fast if you can... - January 9th 2011, 02:44 PM

I have the same issue, one day after exersizing I went on the scale (which I hadn't been on for a few weeks...) & I gained a lot (of course, I was in clothes & it was after I ate...) but I relapsed hardcore that night and the next day. :/

maybe just stay off the scale and eat even when you aren't hungry. (:
   
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