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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Afraid I'm falling back into it (possibly self harm trig. As well) - January 17th 2011, 03:32 AM

I thought I got past this... It in past it seems I'd always either be using purging or cutting as a release..

Idk.. Like.. I've had issues with eating in the past.. but never dropped low enough to be an eating disorrder? My rents and docs did notice, and i was taken off my ADHD pills for the summer, because a side affect of them it loss of appetite, and I was just telling the docs I wasn't hungry...

So, being at camp I worked at all summer, off the pills, and being active, i was hungry, and began eating again.. But partway through the summer, I started with the purging again, nearly every meal while I was there..

But even when I came back to the docs in september, she said my weight had gone up, which was good, and i was put back on ADHD pills. Now, My friends usually makes me eat something for lunch, but lately ive been able to eat bigger lunches and meals, and have snacks without feeling guilty. So idk I guess I thought I was going to be normal now...

So, The past few days I've been eating quite a bit, not thinking about it or feeling guilty at the time, but then suddenly I'm hating myself for it and feeling the need to get rid of it

Im just not sure If it's just a phase, because I seem to go through "phases" where I'll do It for a week or so.. But I'm afraid it's going to turn into one of the times where im doing it constantly?

I just want to have a ... "normal" relationship with food.. I wish I could just accept myself and be okay with eattin and bleh. Idk.

Any advice..?


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Last edited by Jen; January 17th 2011 at 09:19 PM. Reason: Removing triggering prefix to fit with guidelines.
   
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Re: Afraid I'm falling back into it (possibly self harm trig. As well) - January 17th 2011, 09:15 PM

Think postive , dont hate yourslef for eating its a normal human need. If you're disgusted with yourself work out a little bit but not too excessivley. Then write down what you're feeling then burn it and say this feeling wont take over me!


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Re: Afraid I'm falling back into it (possibly self harm trig. As well) - January 18th 2011, 11:08 AM

what I've started doing (I'm currently trying to get over this purging habit) is eating weight-watchers bars, and meal replacement drinks, like Up & Go for breakfast and stuff. I even went and bought a weight-watchers frozen meal and had that for lunch today and i haven't purged that. I've convinced myself that if it has less than 10g of fat and 10g of sugar per serving its ok to eat. This is just what's helping me, that and going for a run every now and again, or a skate or swim down the beach. I hope this helps at all <3 don't give in, keep strong. it's hard but it is worth it in the end. I know it.
   
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