Triggering (ED): So happy but so confused :(

[Millarw12]

Please don't be offended by this in any way, I just have a lot of pent up emotions so I might use "strong language" and is not directed at any one in particular.

So I haven't been clinically diagnosed yet, and I don't plan on being so, but i do have bulimic and anorexic habits. Let me explain before you jump to "You dont have a disorder, go see profesional help any way" kind of crap. After almost every meal (or up to 3 times a day, which ever is more often) I purge, even if it was within my strict less than 10g of fat and 10g of sugar per serve criteria. If i cant avoid eating crap food i purge as soon as i possibly can without raising suspicion. I've been doing this for a while now.

I've recently developed an addiction to this app for my iPhone that is a calorie counter. I love it. I've cut down my calorie intake to [Edited] per day, and am considering cutting down even further. I don't know whats "normal" for calorie intake, but I am about 5'9-5'10 and i used to weigh [Edited]. Im not saying what I weigh now, but i have lost some noticeable weight and i am super happy with my control over food at the moment.

When school goes back I'm also going to be exercising about 3-4 days, doing a mix of running and gym work. I don't know why I posted this, I just needed to tell someone, anyone really.

[Eljoria]

Wow, I'm just like you. I know how it feels. sometimes i know i need to eat fat food to keep myself warm but mostly i just cut it all off heh.
I'm here if you need, just PM me. x

[emma01]

I wish I could put you off doing this to yourself completely. But you are your own person, so I can't really do anything. But let me say this, i've said it a lot, but this idea makes so much sense to me.

You can't win with an ED...you say you are losing weight, and you are making yourself sick, and over-exercising to do so. What happens when you get to a very unhealthy low weight? 2 things can happen. You don't get help, and you die. Or, you get help, and are tube fed until you reach a safer weight. Either way, you will not be recognised for a thin body. You will be recognised as "anorexic" if you die, or "normal, slim" if you gain weight.
With anorexia, you have to gain weight, or you die. You can't beat it! Is it really worth all this horrible stuff you are doing to yourself?