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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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had to eat :( - January 30th 2011, 07:14 PM

today we had a birthday party for my auntie and i had to eat. there was no way i couldn't coz she made me and now i feel absolutely horrible. i feel fat and disgusting. just before they made me eat i passed-out for a few minutes. i had really bad dizzy spells and i just collapsed. they don't undastand though. i can't eat. i can't eat. why don't they leave me alone. i don't want to eat
   
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Re: had to eat :( - January 30th 2011, 07:51 PM

I must be hard but you need to eat, it will end up killing you do you want to leave you loved ones. Leave you parents hurt your parents hurt your friends thee is always people in the world who will help you. You will end up making yourself very sick and it wount help anyone. If you died think about all the people who will miss you you may not see it but even that random person you might say hi to every now and again will miss you. This effects everyone so you should speek to somone about it a friend your parents.
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Re: had to eat :( - January 31st 2011, 06:52 AM

Hi, I know this must be so hard for you but you really really need to eat. I don't mean this in a nasty way, and I certainly hope you read this in a positive way, as I have been in your shoes too.
Remember what I told you last time, you CAN'T win with an eating disorder. You HAVE to eat at one stage. You are putting your whole life towards not eating now, and so in turn you will probably lose lots of weight. Then one of two things will happen. 1. You will get treatment, and possibly hospital admission, and tube fed until you gain weight. 2. You die.

Either way, you will not stay thin forever, and Anorexia's idea of perfect is unreachable. With EDs, you never reach your perfect weight because you are interrupted by medical professionals, or you die. Is it really worth all this hassle?

I know it is absolutely horrible to be forced to eat, which is why I urge you to make that decision now, before you are forced, or food enters your body without your control and you can't even taste it! (tube fed)

You can do it! I know you can!


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Re: had to eat :( - January 31st 2011, 05:32 PM

Thanks for your replies guys but i just can't do it. I don't have control over anything else. Its the only thing that makes me feel better, that makes me feel me. Ive got nothing else in my life except this small bit of control i have over myself.
And i know what you mean Emma. You've been in this position so you would obviously know alot better than me. And no i dint take it in a bad way lol I know you mean well. I just can't seem to change my thinking patterns.
   
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Re: had to eat :( - February 1st 2011, 03:11 AM

The feeling of control is absolutely amazing ay, and I know it all. I loved the feeling of getting home and have eaten very little. That is very typical of eating disorder behaviour. But I know you can beat this, you know why? My counselor told me that EDs don't target weak people, they target high achieving, motivated people, who are motivated enough to restrict food intake. Most people who diet, give up after a week and binge, but people with EDs tend to be so motivated and once they try something they have to do it to the best of their ability.
So I can tell you are a very very motivated and determined person, and if you can manage to convince yourself that eating is healthy, you will be motivated enough to keep it up. You are such a strong person, strong enough to override what Anorexia tells you I know you are! You can so do this!
I am so positive about this because I have been there and done it, and now I am so pleased I am better because I can eat what I want, and that stupid voice that tells me otherwise is so quiet, if there at all! Anorexia is still a big part of my life, and I know that. I get the feeling...but everytime I try and tell myself that 'food is bad'...well I wash my mouth out with ice-cream or something

Hehe you gotta laugh at that one!

But I really like you, and I think about you. I really care and I really have faith in you. You can do it, I know


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Re: had to eat :( - February 3rd 2011, 09:32 AM

Evidently you are unwilling to help yourself.
   
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Re: had to eat :( - February 3rd 2011, 01:35 PM

I agree with what Emma said, they target perfectionists who don't give up.
Are you REALLY in control? You can control your weight better when you eat averagely then here and there. Are you in control of when you blackout? No. '
Sorry if I sound mean, I'm recovering anorexia as well.
   
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Re: had to eat :( - February 5th 2011, 12:01 PM

Thanks for your reply Emma. I know what you're saying. Ive been trying really hard and im getting alot of help for this problem now. i think im gna get through it
   
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