Still eating, just not the right amount

[A.Place.In.This.World]

I feel fat and no matter how much I try to starve myself, or cut down on meals, I still don't lose any weight. My best friend says I'm not fat, but that doesn't change the way I feel about myself. Hopeless. Today, all I ate were grapes and when I weighed myself at the end of the day, I realized I had gained weight. I sobbed until I could barely breathe.
I don't know what's causing these feelings to eat. I've always felt like I was never good enough for anyone. When my real dad found out my mom was pregnant, he left and I have never met him, when I was 3, my grandpa molested me and then slapped me and called me ugly and useless, and when I was 6, my stepdad beat me everyday. It got so bad that I could barely sit. That's when I stopped caring about my appearance and when I started eating to hide my feelings and make me feel better. I cried myself to sleep every night. That's not something a 6 year old should have to go through. I don't know what to do anymore, can someone help me?

[Agoraphobia♥]

First of all, I'm sorry that you've had to go through all of this and now onto the eating disorder part, it sounds to me like you are very close to an eating disorder if you don't already have one. Right now I would say it's disordered eating that can very easily become an eating disorder. That's pretty much what I've got to say, I'll let the others post as well and I'll continue to talk to you on FB and through text.