Triggering (ED): I don't even know anymore.... :(

[colie18]

So in 7th and 8th grade I became anorexic from growing up in a family where I was continually told to stop eating so much, or to workout more, or that I was fat. I recovered myself without anyone knowing.

Everyone thought that my light weight was just due to my small stature or the fact that I was always active. No one even thought that it could have been anorexia even when I was under weight.

I was fine at the end of the 8th grade year and was at a healthy weight. Then freshman year I fell again, and was about a year full of being anorexic. Then during that summer again I was fine and at a healthy weight. Now at my senior I am relapsing again, and this time worse. I am at the border line of being underweight again.. very close. I have tried eating but I just keep loosing. I don't know what to do anymore? I still feel very disgusted every time i eat. What should I do?

[Revolution]

Hey Nicole,

I think you need to finally reach out and tell somebody about your problem, particuarly an adult you trust. If you need ideas check out our Who Can Help Me page. But you can no longer do this on your own. It gets to a certain point where we can all take care of ourselves, but sometimes, with everything else going through our lives, especially at our age, we can no longer stand on our own. Especially with a disorder that can get as deadly as anorexia, I would HIGHLY recommend you receive help.

Do you have any coping techniques? One of the best ways I've been able to use are grounding techniques. When you eat something, and you suddenly start to worry you've eaten to much, think where you are. Find colors around you. Deep breathe. And get yourself in a place where you know everything is okay, that it's not a big deal, and reason with yourself what you are doing is healthy. You can also do that while eating. Just think about the next bite. Don't think about finishing an entire plate, think about the next bite. Take it one step at a time.

Overexercising is so hard to beat, because exercise is healthy. However, give yourself a preset time limit, telling yourself "I'm only going to work out this much time." Maybe invite a friend to come with you and help you stick with that limit. Exercising with a friend makes everything more fun anyway.

In the end, I really hope you receive help. You no longer need to suffer alone. You can always message me, I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything.