telling someone

[smiles07x]

so i know i write on this a lot but its the only way i can let my feeling out without SHing myself again today..

I didn't eat anything today before dinner except for (edited) cut up...

dinner came and i was so hungry considering i barely ate every other day..
So i ate a lot thinking its okay because then if i eat enough i can purge.
usually i have trouble purging and thats why i just eat less now..
So i was eatting...(edited). My brother saw me doing this and called me fat. he was just joking but at the state that i am i take things very seriously. I know it doesn't sound like much to eat for the whole day but for me to have even dessert is a lot...i ran to the bathroom after that and barely purged..like it doesn't even count..

after i left the bathroom i didn't weigh myself because i knew i would have gained weight from the food i just ate..i got so angry at myself because i hate that feeling of wanting the food gone but it isn't leaving. i felt like i let myself down...leading to the SH because i felt like a waste of time. I don't make myself bleed and the cuts aren't deep at all..just enough to be sore and break the skin.. IT'S so harddddd for me to control doing it because i just bash on myself and say things like "omg you're so stupid for eating all that." "you're so fat"...meanwhile i know i am underweight, i still feel fat though. My friend started to notice that i was losing weight and said i need to tell someone..but the thing is i don't think I'm ready...
I know what I'm doing is wrong but i just don't know how to tell anyone. its embarrassing and i will feel like a let down. How do u tell someone..like anyone...that u trust about your problem?

[Dr.Bobby]

Actually telling is easier than living with the torment.

Pick a person, preferably an adult who you trust and feel will respond appropriately supportively to you. make a time to meet with them, tell them you have something serious to tell them, and tell them. or better yet, show them the marks on your arm.

Caring means understanding, without judgment. They will know what to do. And you will feel an overwhelming sense of relief.

[smiles07x]

okayy i will take that into consideration..Thank you! but how come i can't jet keep saying things on here...is it different if i tell someone that i know? Because even when i right on here i can't help but to continue my SH habits and eating habits.

[Dr.Bobby]

The internet isn't a substitute for reality! So, the reaction you will get (both from inside yourself and from whoever you disclose this to) will be a lot different than what you get here. You can practice here, but the feelings you get from sharing here or reading posts isn't at all like what you'll get IRL.

Go tell.

[smiles07x]

gahh! thank youu..soon i will. I've been thinking about it for awhile now.

[Revolution]

Hey there,

Do you have any person in your life that you would be the most comfortable talking to about these issues? I would pick the person, particularly an adult you trust, and find a way that you can tell them. You can consider writing a letter to them, or an email, to be able to tell them in an unemotional but concise way. Talk to them how you want to get better, and get help for these issues. Tell them how you feel, to the deepest extent, and tell them that you know you need help.

You also may want to consider going straight to a guidance counselor and getting help directly. You do not deserve to be suffering anymore, you are beautiful, and caring, and deserve to be able to be happy with yourself no matter what. If you ever need anything, message me!

[smiles07x]

thank you!! and no i honestly don't really trust anyone actually as much. i will see what i can do tho.

[Revolution]

Remember to check out the Who Can Help Me post within Suicide and Depression. It applies well to this subject.

[smiles07x]

thankyou! and about how many calories a day should a 17 year old girl who is 5'3 get? Like what is considered "starving" yourself?

[Heartlines.]

I think your best bet is to look up on google, or ask a doctor. We can't give you calorie numbers on here.
I will, however, link you to A Guide To Healthy Eating

[Heartlines.]

Closing this thread do to other active threads.
Also, user started a thread following my previous response on this thread.