Recovery Program?

[AmiFey]

My lifegroup is basically forcing me to get help now. I'm eating again, but I'm not keeping stuff down and I don't really want to. I don't want their help anymore. I'm scared of the idea of a recovery program because all the girls there would be thin and I would be the odd one out because I'm so much heavier. I don't know if I should fight them on it or not..

[Heartlines.]

You can't know for sure whether or not the girls their are thin. And really, you shouldn't let it be an issue. You're their to recover. Not to compete with the other girls. If that's how you view recovery, then you're not ready yet. Honestly, I always try to encourage people to seek help and recovery. But you can't recover if you don't want to. You HAVE to want recovery. I encourage you to try and do what you can to recover. It's going to be hard, but you can do this. It's possible that you don't want to be better because you're familiar with disordered eating. Getting better means a lifestyle, as ED's take over your life. It's a HUGE change. And it takes time to get adjusted to, but it's not impossible. I really think you should consider the help. It's going to be hard, but ultimately... you will feel better in the end.

[Dr.Bobby]

Katie, what's a 'lifegroup'?

Anyways, eating disorders are very serious, you can die. Blunt, I know.

Eating disorders result from a lot of things, but perhaps the easiest (and perhaps most oversimplistic) way of looking at it is to recognize that as biological entities we have certain natural self protective mechanisms, which are always switched on. One of them is to eat. With ED's, the brain incorrectly turns them off, then bends reality to justify continuing doing something that biologically goes against self preservation.

Part of this is demonstrated by your fear of treatment. The real fear hun is what happens if this goes untreated (see: Death). So, your fear here is misplaced, it's the consequence of NOT getting proper help to finally reset that self protective mechanism to it's default 'On' position. Not the process of treatment.

So, the answer to your question is that, yes, you should follow the recommendation and go to a facility and get reset.

[AmiFey]

A lifegroup is a sort of group at my church that keeps each girl accountable.

And an update: I saw my therapist today, and she's also demanding that I go into treatment. She wants me to go into an intensive outpatient program that's at least an hour away (!!! ) which would take my schooling and everything and would screw with my classes. I really, REALLY don't want to do this. She isn't giving me much choice though.