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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Faye. Offline
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This is driving me crazy - January 10th 2009, 11:22 AM

Aaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhh! I can't do this. Every day my choice seems to be either binge or starve, eating normally is completely alien to me. I can't carry on like this, I don't want to carry on like this but I won't let myself not carry on like this. Everything to do with food and eating is just so much effort, everything about it becomes a major 'thing' like all the packets and cans in the cupboard always have to be in order by height and brand, my family always leave me to put food away seeing as I get so frustrated if it's wrong.
No one understands ,I guess that's my fault as I'm not making anyone understand, but still my friends just make fun of me. I was trying to eat lunch on friday and it was so hard, I sat at the table just shaking but they were laughing at me.
Why is this so hard, why is eating such a big deal for me? It just horrible


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Re: This is driving me crazy - January 10th 2009, 02:10 PM

I'm sorry that you're going through this at the moment Faye. Firstly well done for posting this up here, realisation that your eating habits aren't healthy is the first step towards recovary. We're not medically trained professionals so none of us can diagnose you with any condition, however your habits are obviously very unhealthy. I can't diagnose you with an eating disorder but you appear to have disordered eating which could definitely develop into something more serious if you let it get out of hand and to develop.
You've mentioned that 'no one understands.' It's very true that an eating disorder can be a very difficult concept for non-sufferers to come to terms with. The person that they see when they look at you is a completely different person to the one that you see when you look in the mirror. It's very easy to get down hearted when someone reacts negitivel when you try and explain what is going on in your head. However a negative reaction is probably because they don't understand how they can help your situation and are a bit scared a nd confused about what your going through. Give your friends time and perhaps try and talk to one whom you trust really well about this to have a word with the others not to fuss you about food.
Could you perhaps consider getting some professional help for this Faye? I know that you are probably be thinking that you don't want any help because this will mean that you start eating and then potentially gain a little bit of weight. However professional help from people with experience with situations like yours will help you see yourself in a much more postive light and help to improve your self esteem. Hopefully you will find that you don't feel the need to loose weight any more. I hope I'm making some sense.
In the mean time try and eat small amounts of healthy food, maybe a smoothie or some fruit or something similar. Also perhaps try and drink a small glass of milk every day. Please stay strong and feel free to pm me at any time. xxx lisa
   
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Re: This is driving me crazy - January 10th 2009, 02:33 PM

Hi Faye. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time at the moment. I understand how you feel, and I understand how frustrating it can feel when you're having to constantly fight yourself essentially. It's hard when you don't have anyone to support you, especially with your friends acting the way that they do. Are any of your friends aware of your issues with eating? It might help them understand what you're going though and they won’t laugh at you but try and help you eat without feeling guilty for doing so. Having someone just listen to what's going on can help you and they can try and support you.

Is there anyone you think you could talk to about this? How about your parents? Do you feel you'd be able to talk to them? Eating disorders aren't glamorous, and eating disorders aren't very likely to go away on their own. You posted here, so that shows that you must want help for this. You don't deserve to be struggling like this, so please talk to someone about this. Don't forget that you're not alone with this, there are a lot of people who understand what you're going through and are willing to listen and try and help in any way they can.
Take care and my Pm box is always open.


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was everything you ever wanted.


Snap back to reality. <3
   
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