I Let It Get Too Far...

[Agoraphobia♥]

I went to the doctor today because for the last month I have been so sick in the mornings. Thinking more and more on it I got really worried that it may be because of this recent relapse. Well today I finally told him how I had an undiagnosed eating disorder and recently relapsed badly; he thinks I may have an ulcer that started from stress and worsened because I didn't eat. He gave me medicine for the ulcer itself but I'm going back to counselling and he referred me to a nutritionist. I'm so scared, I never thought I could let it get far enough to hurt me, I thought out of everyone I know, I would be the last to let my wanting to be thin hurt me so bad. It's not as bad as it gets for some but I think this is my serious wake up call. I'm just so scared, I'm glad I told him but I am so scared that I could ever let it get this far. He said that due to the privacy policy he can't and won't say but he encourages me to tell them if I can.

I just cannot believe I let this happen... I'm so scared...

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey there,

I am glad you have opened up to us and let us know what is going on. I am also very glad that you went to the doctor for this. I know that you feel badly about all of this but I am going to encourage you not to beat yourself up over this because it will not help matters. I know that when I am struggling from side effects from my eating disorder I tend to beat myself up over it and it tends to only make things worse. Remember relapses are a part of recovery and beating yourself up over them and the the consequences they produce is not going to help. Instead embrace the relapse and slowly work on figuring out what the cause was behind it and work on getting better.

I think it is fantastic that your doctor gave you the name of a nutritionist and I think it is great that you are going to a counselor; both those things will prove beneficial in the end. You can get through this. Remember you are beautiful just the way you are.

I hope this helped in some way and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna

[Iris. ♥]

Hey Cheye.

I'm so glad that you decided to open up about it. I know that wasn't the easiest thing to do. I know how you feel when it comes to the fear of letting something go so far that it causes you physical pain. Here's the silver lining though: you're aware of it. That's such a huge step. This fear that you feel is ultimately going to help you. It's a feeling that you'll never want to go back to, which is going to help you make huge progress in getting better and overcoming this eating disorder.

So many girls, myself included, feel this need to be unnaturally thin. Let me tell you something: it's not worth it. Who do you need to impress so much that you'll hurt yourself to do it? When you think about it like that, it's going to make it much harder to go back to your ED. Please just pay careful attention to what your nutritionist says and follow his directions. Remember, you're beautiful EXACTLY as you are. Please don't ever doubt that.

VM/PM me if you need some support or just wanna chat. I try to be available as much as possible. Good luck with everything.

[Heartlines.]

Do you know how happy this makes me? To hear that you've finally seen how dangerous this is, and how dangerous it's becoming. I think you knew all along that ED's are dangerous things, but I think now you REALLY see it. It's awesome you were open with them, and with us. I think it's now time to thing about recovery and perusing it. I really think you should give this nutritionist a chance. They are really good about making people feel comfortable. That's how they were with me, anyways. Cheye, you're going to get through this. And TH is with you every step of the way. Just believe in yourself.. because you're strong. Truly. Take good care of yourself, and keep us updated.