Recovery and roadblocks

[Abby(ss)]

I'm Abby, and im recovering from anorexia. I spent August, September, and October of this year in a residential treatment center where I was introduced to ABA, a 12 step program for girls like me with anorexia and bulimia. I've been finding the grace to eat three meals a day, trusting that my dietitian knows what's best for me and that everything will be okay. It's now my privilege and great good fortune to have the steps of ABA (the same steps of alcoholics anonymous) to guide me into a beautiful life. I'm finding now that I don't have my addiction to starving myself distracting me and numbing me anymore, I have a lot of pain that I never dealt with and I'm starting to lose myself in a world of fear. I want to run away from myself now that my vision isn't blurred by hunger and fatigue. Im at a point where I really need support to move past these fears and really be honest and work my program. Any advice or encouragement you could offer would mean the world to me.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey there Abby,

I think it is fantastic that you are recovering from this terrible addiction. You are slowly gaining your life back which is something you deserve! I think one thing to remember when you are really struggling is that you are so much stronger than your Eating Disorder. There are definitely going to be those days when you don't see the point in fighting and you just have to push past and remind yourself that YOU ARE STRONGER THAN ALL OF THAT AND YOU CAN BEAT IT.

Now, the thing about most addictions is they numb the pain and they allow us to stop coping or at least 'forget' about the tough things going on in our lives. When a person decides to fight their addiction the tough things come back up with a vengeance because they have been shut down/quieted for so long. However the longer you start to deal with those tough things the easier it will get to handle. You will still have those tough days but they will get fewer and farther between and it will be easier for you to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Are you currently seeing a counselor? If not I think it would be a good idea for you to look into getting one so that you will have someone to help you work through the difficult times. It could be extremely beneficial. Also, I am going to link you to an Eating Disorder Anonymous website which might tell you if there are any EDA meetings in your area. If there are I would suggest that you try going to one of those; it might help you build friendships with people who can understand your struggle and it might help you build an even bigger network of support. Here is the link: http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/meetings.html

I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.

Jenna

[Abby(ss)]

Jenna,
Thankyou SO much sweetie! Reading that got me through my meals do far today and I'm so grateful to you for helping me keep my head up and stay sober <3 I looked into EDA and there is one close to me. Also I've found a lot of al-anon/al-teen meetings which will hopefully help me deal with the alcoholics in my family. Girl, thanks a million for taking the time to write that it really brightened my day and was a gift from my Higher Power to help keep me in the steps of my program <3

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey there,

I am really glad that my response helped you! I am also glad that you were able to find a EDA close to your area as well as an ala-non/ala-teen in your area I believe that both of those things will be beneficial to you. It will give you a great way to find support and talk about some of the things going on in your life and through all of that you might slowly be able to build a support network which is something all people need when they are struggling in life or dealing with an addiction of some kind.

Also, if you are ever having a bad day feel free to pm me or continue posting in the forums. You could also post in your blogs. I have found that getting my feelings out through blogging and journaling is a great way to deal with all the things going on in my life. It might not solve the problems exactly but I am not keeping them locked up inside and that is a good thing.

Jenna

[FillingWithHope]

Congrats Sweetie! Its good that your getting help. Just try not to run away from yourself. Confront it by talking to people about it. There are people there to help you and maybe by talking to somebody you can find peace. Good Luck and Stay Strong! PM me anytime you need it.

[Abby(ss)]

Thankyou both for taking the time to offer your views on my situation. I would agree that keeping this all inside myself is probably dangerous and I need to learn how to let go of things and trust other people to be there for me when I can't handle myself by myself...I've been looking for the courage to do that and finding that I lack it but hopefully I can move past that poimt