Food Scares Me.

[Iris. ♥]

Does that sound weird??
Oh well, that doesn't matter. I just know I'm getting chunky again. But, the thought of food scares me right now. Anything that adds more to my fat is not something I want anywhere near me. Choking down carrots was awful today. CARROTS! This is ridiculous. I know I need to eat. I know I can't let myself fall back into eating (edited) calories a day, and exercising my butt off to get rid of them. I know I shouldn't follow through on my will to throw up. But, I don't know how to feel good about myself when I'm eating and making myself fat. UGH.

[Tynan]

Hey Sammi.

That doesn't sound weird at all. I feel the same way a lot of times. I'm sorry to hear that it was awful to try and eat carrots today. I am glad to know you need to eat, And you can't let yourself fall back to that routine. But eating a normal diet won't make you fat. Really only excessively eating and not exercising regularly will make you fat. I've seen it happen. But what I do to make myself feel good about myself is to find something about yourself that you like.

Like for me today I noticed that I have more tone on my arms & legs. It made me feel good for a little bit today. So I do suggest finding at least one thing you like about yourself for the day. Then continue doing so everyday until you feel good about yourself.

Best of luck Sammi.

[Iris. ♥]

Hmmm, I'll try that.
Thanks for the suggestion!

[blumemusik♫]

Hey first of all, if you see this before the mods, could you get rid of the calorie numbers? They aren't allowed on teenhelp

Secondly, im sorry things are so hard for you right now - christmas in particular will be tricky - but if you set your mind to it, I'm sure you'll do well! The suggestion to find something good about yourself everyday is a great idea, I recommend you try it

Best of luck!<3

[Blair]

Sammi, girl that doesn't sound weird at all. Being scared of food is a big part of having an ED. Sometimes during recovery you're gonna feel really bad. You're gonna feel fat, scared, insecure...part of getting better is learning to deal with and work through uncomfortable feelings instead of starving them out or throwing them up. If you ever need someone to talk to or anything shoot me a pm/vm. Happy holidays sweetie

[Iris. ♥]

Oops! The calorie thing TOTALLY slipped my mind last night!
Silly me. I should have known not to do that.
I really am going to try that suggestion though.
I'm gonna eat my Christmas Eve dinner tonight . . one bite at a time.
&&I WILL keep it down.

[Tynan]

It happens
And I am glad you will try it.
And I will wish you the best of luck sammi.

[p_fine]

Food scares me too sometimes but you have to remember that we need it to survive. I am sorry you have been finding things hard. It is a tricky time of year for a lot of people. Its normal to have dips in recovery - not every day will be a good day. Some days, you wont want to at too much and other days you might want a little more. Take each day at a time. Dont put yourself under too much pressure. We are all here to support you. Happy New Year.