It makes me sick..

[DiamondsandDiazepam]

Okay..

I suffer from Anorexia and it's only started getting a lot worse since I had my third suicide attempt. I know I need to eat but I panic and I'm scared of putting on too much weight..and the outcome is me being unattractive or "unaccepted" in society.

The only support I have is from my boyfriend, who unfortunately lives in Scotland. He asks me if I've eaten at all and obviously I tell the truth, but, I sometimes eat one thing because it's there, even if I don't like it. I'll eat my food, even on good days when I've eaten properly, but there'll come a time during my day that I will bring it up again (not on purpose).

I'm not so much scared ofeating food, I'm just scared of bringing it up again, or I will put on too much weight. I don't want to give away my weight, size or anything - but let's just say it's not looking good.

Does anyone know anything that can help?

Thank you

[Heartlines.]

Hey there,

Where do your parents fall into all of this? Why don't you talk to them for support? Are they people you're able to talk to? I know how hard it can be to talk to your parents about things like this. Part of telling them means giving up your control. It means recovery. When I was a cheerleader, I was binging and purging. One night, after a game.. I just ended up telling my mom. I told her I starve myself and throw up whatever I eat. I bawled. And she just looked at me like she had hurt in her eyes. Scared for her child. She was supportive when I never thought she would be. she got me counseling and all that jazz. So, moral of the story: Parents can surprise you. You just have to give them that chance. Maybe you could tell your parents?

But to be honest, you won't feel better unless you're willing to make the effort to get better. Recovery takes will-power, effort, willingness, etc. All of which I believe you have! Maybe you can talk to a teacher or a school guidance counselor? Something you should know about ED's, is that they are very unhealthy, time consuming, painful, horrible. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. You do know the health risks associated, right? If not, you should look them up. I know that the health risks don't seem important when you're so set on your ways. Trust me, I get that. But you deserve to be happy. Please, get help for yourself.

We'll always be here if you need us, or have more questions. <3