Triggering: I just can't stop.

[justanotherday]

I'm bulimic, even though i don't like to admit it. With all the stress going on right now, I've been making myself throw up more. I use to only do it once in a while, then more often, and now everythingggg I eat. I hate it. I try to stop. Even when i make myself, I try to only a little but then it's just like a really strong urge to make sure nothing is in my stomach at all. To the point where I'm gagging because there's nothing in there. To be honest, I think I'm fat but everyone says I'm far from it. My brother is only four years old and calls me a rib. But I just don't seem to think I look okay. I'm worried for numerous reasons. For one I worry about it screwing my teeth up, which i brush everytime I throw up and morning and night (like your suppose to), two I know it's just not good for me overall, etc. So if someone can please give me some advice on stopping, or anything helpful. I'd appreaciate it very much.

[Revolution]

Hey Kayla,

I'm so sorry you've been having issues with purging. The habit, as disgusting as it is, can be very addicting, something that I suffered with for a few years as well. First of all, I know you have probably heard this before, but I'm going to start by telling you that this habit is ridiculously dangerous. Purging can lead to burst blood vessels in the eyes, dental erosion, esophageal tears or potassium depletion leading to fatal disturbances in heart rhythm. Basically, it just rots you, and then kills you. I'm going to tell you my own experience a bit-I purged regularly, about 3-5 times a week (which is not as much as you're doing), and I ended up developing OVER eight cavities (the cavities affected eight teeth, but they were in between teeth, so there were over eight of them) along with leaving me with stomach problems such as a very sensitive gag reflex, being triggered by smells and thoughts. It's absolutely horrendous. And I'm just going to tell you, while you are still doing it, stop brushing your teeth afterwards. It rubs in the acid. If anything, use mouthwash, but better yet, STOP THE HABIT ALL TOGETHER, before it's too late and you end up using all of your parents insurance money on dental for fillings.

First, I'm going to give you a thread I made called the Coping Mechanisms for Eating Disorders. It's a great way to be able to calm down, or distract yourself with an urge. I would recommend surrounding yourself with people after you eat, and get through it, one meal at a time. Last, I PLEAD you to tell an adult you trust what you're going through, such as a parent, guidance counselor, or family friend. You need to find yourself help with somebody you trust, and think about professional help too, such as counseling, group therapy, or possibly eating disorder treatment like inpatient or outpatient. Treatment can be expensive some places, but you are worth it, so please, consider it.

Good luck! Feel free to reply if you have any more questions, and message me anytime!