Telling my therapist.

[aloharocker]

So I just started seeing a therapist last week and I promised my boyfriend that I would talk to the therapist about my eating issues along with everything else.

(Long story short, my boyfriend has observed that I hate eating, obsessively count calories and he cried when he found out I was purging.)

Tomorrow is my next session with my therapist. We started talking a little bit about my eating issues last week but I'm terrified to tell him how bad it is. He insists that I'm supposed to call him if I'm about to do something to hurt myself (especially get drunk) so I have the feeling he's going to suggest the same if I feel like purging...

I just... finally feel like I'm doing it right. I'm finally losing weight, and I don't care about the side effects. I don't want anyone to stop me.

How do I tell?!

[_sunsets64.]

Hey there,
I saw your post on the complaint thread, and I'm sorry no one's answered this yet. Try to be patient though, sometimes it just takes a little time, as frustrating as that is.
I know it's terrifying to talk to your therapist. I was going to about three weeks ago and tell him about my depression, but I chickened out and now I haven't had a chance to because he's been away and busy and I'm busy and things keep getting in the way. I wish I'd told him when I had the chance, because now I want to talk and I can't. Grab the opportunity to get help while you can. I know it's so hard, but picture your boyfriend and being able to tell him that you did it, that you told your therapist and the look on his face and how relieved and happy he will be for you.

And I know the weight loss feels great and that you don't care about the side effects right now, but please, please, take my advice and ask for help. You can see a nutritionist if you want and lose the weight (if you really do in fact need to) a healthy way. One of my best friends struggled with anorexia and bulimia for a year and it spiraled out of control. She's graduating a semester after the rest of our class now and going to college a year later because of all the school she missed while she was in rehab and therapy trying to regain control over her life. It's a mess, mentally and physically, and nobody deserves to go through that. Please, take care of yourself.

Asking for help will only benefit you, short term and long term. You can do it, and believe me, you will be grateful that you did, looking back. If you want, you can even tell your therapist that you don't want help, because of the reasons you explained. This will help her understand better. And if you need help trying to talk to your therapist, try writing a letter and reading it allowed--that's my plan. Or you could ask your boyfriend to come with you for support, if you'd feel comfortable doing that.
It'll all work out--the scariest part is your expectation of everything that could go wrong beforehand, when the truth is that it usually isn't that bad. Don't let your fears stop you!
Stay strong

[Nicole!]

It may seem like this is the only way that you will actually lose the weight, but its not. Its the most damaging. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.
You're boyfriend loves you for who you are, and he must think you are beautiful just the way you are right now. You don't need to go to extremes just to lose weight, its not healthy.
Diet and exercise really is the best way to lose weight the most effectively. If you don't eat, it slows down your metabolism which messes up digestion. So when you do start to eat again, your body isn't used to digesting that much food and so it won't get taken in as well which can cause you to gain more weight in the future. It can become a vicious cycle.
Exercise helps to speed up your metabolism which can help you digest food better and lose weight. Along with that, as you know, it burns calories to also help you lose weight. A healthy diet is crucial as well because your body needs those good nutrients to stay healthy and strong.

There is a reason why these bad habits are called an eating disorder, it isn't what we as humans are meant to be doing. I know telling your therapist is not something that you want to do, but its something you need to. He can help get you back on your feet and help get your confidence up. You need to find some peace of mind with your body and feel okay with yourself, you'll be much happier then.

[Iris. ♥]

Purging is not a healthy way to lose weight. Sure, the pounds disappear. But it's so much more damaging physically, mentally, and emotionally. There are much healthier ways for you to lose weight -- ways in which you don't have to hurt your own body.

You really do need to tell your therapist though. He can't help you if you don't let him in. I know it's a tough conversation to have, but he's trained for this kind of thing. He'll be able to give you the tools that no one else can -- the tools to help you overcome this and be a stronger person.

You don't have to tell him everything at your next session though. Gradually work your way up to that. Move at the pace that's comfortable for you when it comes to telling him about this.

Good luck!

[MadPoet]

Hey Steffani,

I'm sorry you've been struggling lately, but I'm glad that you are reaching out for help and seeing a therapist. It's also a good thing that you have a boyfriend who seems to care a lot about you. I think that both of these things are going to help you in the long run. But first you have to be willing to receive that help.

I definitely think telling your therapist about what's going on would be beneficial to you. But I also think you need to do this for yourself, not anyone else. You shouldn't feel as if you're being forced to confide in this therapist. You should feel comfortable with them, and comfortable confiding in them. That doesn't mean you have to want to recover right away, or that you have to have your mind set on getting better. But it means that you have to realize that what you're doing is not healthy, and that it is a problem that you do need to recover from. Because if you don't realize that, not much good will come from letting someone know what's happening.

You deserve to be treated with love, especially by yourself. What you're doing isn't healthy physically, or emotionally. You owe it to yourself, not just to your boyfriend, to recover. You deserve that. I hope that everything goes well and that you're able to get the help you need. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Good luck.

[aloharocker]

Thanks for all your support, I really appreciate it. I know I should tell my therapist, but I just don't know how to bring it up. I guess I'll find out in an hour :/

[_sunsets64.]

Let us know how it goes! We're all here for you

[aloharocker]

I chickened out and didn't tell him. We started talking about other things and coping strategies for my anxiety, which is the main reason I'm seeing him so it was a difficult session all on its own. I really just don't know how to bring it up. He knows I have issues with eating and self esteem, but part of my anxiety is being able to start conversations...

[_sunsets64.]

That's alright, it sounds like it was pretty stressful enough :P And I know exactly what you mean! You could try saying at the beginning of the meeting, though, like, "I need to talk to you about something," and explain that your eating and self-esteem issues are worse than you've been letting on and just kind of go from there? Or try writing it all down and then tell him at the beginning of the meeting that you want to read something you wrote.
Just make sure that it's at the beginning of the meeting, like right as you walk in, that way you don't let the conversation get sidetracked to something else. You can do it, I believe in you!

[Childish Giggle]

Originally Posted by aloharocker

I chickened out and didn't tell him. We started talking about other things and coping strategies for my anxiety, which is the main reason I'm seeing him so it was a difficult session all on its own. I really just don't know how to bring it up. He knows I have issues with eating and self esteem, but part of my anxiety is being able to start conversations...

I can understand that. I took 3 years to enter my school counselor's room and talk to her about stuff. So when I finally went in there, I just closed my eyes and just said that I have started cutting. Took a lot of courage, and it was pretty spontaneous. There will be some time in the day when you feel absolute spontaneous like that, maybe you can give him the link to this thread at that time? Or just message him at that time, or e-mail maybe. Just do it when you get the slightest bit of the courageous, spontaneous type feeling. Give in to that feeling at that time. Thats what I did. I hope it works out for you

[Artistic Soul]

Purging is so not a good way. And yes, it's gonna take time and lots of thinking....but you ought to interact with your therapist. It's for your own good. Stay strong and take care. xx

[aloharocker]

I told my therapist today.
Okay, that's not entirely true, he asked me about it.
Anyway, he knows.

He says I have to stop purging. Like, now. I'm supposed to call if I'm even thinking about it. I'm supposed to eat wayyyyy too many calories I have to keep track of them and show him and everything.

He says he's going to tell my psychiatrist too.

I really wish I hadn't told him now. I don't want to stop.

[Whisperingwillow]

Honey, I know it's scary, but it's going to be okay. It's scary now, but I bet you'll feel better about it. Even if you don't always feel like even trying to recover, it will help you feel better. You have a whole community of support right here.

[_sunsets64.]

I know it must be terrifying for you right now and you wish you hadn't said anything, but trust me, you're going to be grateful that he found out and that you told him the truth, even if it takes years to get to that point. Purging is dangerous, and you don't know how bad it can get. You can't see it now, but you'll be glad you had someone there who could help you to stop and to eventually feel better about yourself.
You should be proud that you told him the truth instead of trying to hide it or lie--you did the right thing, even if you don't believe it!
And Whisperingwillow's right--we're all here for you Stay strong