Freaking out.

[losingout]

I'm terrified. I think I have an ED, but it's self-diagnosed.

Anyway, last night I was talking with two friends because I look in the mirrors and I scare myself with how thin I am. Honestly, legit scare. I wear clothes that hide it, because of parents. They're telling me to tell my parents but I just can't (for reasons too long)

And today I ate 10 chicken biscuits (bite sized things) and now I'm freakong out and thinking of suicide because of it and I don't know what to do. I can't keep going like this, but I can't get fat either. Can't eat more because I'll kill myself. I'm so scared - what's happening to me?

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

Firstly, we can't diagnose you with an eating disorder on here because only a professional can. If you think you have an eating disorder then I'd recommend that you see some sort of professional. You can go to your doctor and explain your concerns to them, and they can then refer you on for therapy/counseling/any other treatment method they think is appropriate.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Eating disorders are horrible things. But it's good that you've acknowledged that you have a problem. That's the first step to beating them.

It can take a long time and a lot of effort to get over an eating disorder. If you can't tell your parents, I'd highly recommend going to another trusted adult, your doctor or a school counselor. It is very difficult to get through this on your own.

Suicide isn't the answer. I completely understand those feelings of incredible guilt and panic after eating, I go through them myself. Something I've found that helps is distracting yourself straight after you've eaten. Don't think about the food you've just eaten, try to keep your mind occupied on something else. Call someone, either a friend or a hotline, read a book, have a bath, draw a picture, anything that can either express your feelings, relax you or simply distract you.

Take care.

[losingout]

I can't go to any adult - petrified they'll tell my parents after past experiences.

I can try and distract myself - bubble bath sounds good. Hadn't thought of a few of those ways.

[Revolution]

Hey there,

I'm really glad you've reached out for help! We cannot diagnose you with an eating disorder on here, but I"m glad you have acknowledged your habits are unhealthy and want to get better. Obviously, as you are well aware, binging (eating a large amount of food) is just another symptom of an eating disorder, so by either not eating, or by eating too much, each are just different symptoms of eating disorders, so you know what happened was not healthy. However, this is no reason to be talking about suicide.

I would HIGHLY recommend you talk to some kind of adult. I know your experience with your parents sounds scary, but what could be scarier is if you end up hurting your body and your parents would have to find out another way, such as you passing out at school, or at a doctor's appointment when they find out your weight. I would really just recommend talking to them, or talking to somebody such as a guidance counselor about what is going on. And even if you do not talk about the eating, you need to talk about the suicidal thoughts. There is so much more to life than constantly worrying about food! I would really recommend you read our Reasons to Live page so you can find other reasons to keep alive besides your eating habits. I really would recommend you talk tom somebody about these feelings.

Also, until you tell somebody, I'm going to leave you with some user made coping mechanisms for eating disorders. This list has ways, by myself and fellow users, of how they get through period where they want to overeat, purge, or restrict. They have ways to distract, to ways to calm down if you feel out of control and ground yourself from all of the bad things going on. So I would highly recommend you read this and find some ways to help yourself, and get through the bad times.

Hope this helps, take care! Message me if you ever need!