Sick

[DivingCheska]

I am only eating one meal a day and that meal is dinner but even at dinner I hardly eat anything and it takes me a long time. Like yesterday I ate half a subway sandwich and it took me 30 minutes to finish. I walk by the kitchen and when I look at the food it makes me sick. But then I am constantly thinking about it. Today I've eaten a banana and I usually don't eat anything till dinner. Friday I was sooo hungry I ate a whole bag of pop chips then purged it all up. My grandma made me a healthy milkshake this morning and I had maybe 4 sips and that's all i could drink and she got mad at me because i said no I didn't want it then yes i did...I can't help it yes I've gained weight from my binge eating along with my anorexic tendicys so she might think I'm doing it on purpose but I'm not. I just don't know why I can barley look at food or eat it but think about it all the time.

[Agoraphobia♥]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with this, eating disorders are never really easy to deal with and it can really suck. I think maybe you should talk to someone about it, a friend, family member, even a counselor or therapist. I think that you need to talk to someone who can be there for you, someone who will understand and back off if you don't want something they're offering. I think your best bet would be to tell a friend and/or family member as well as a professional who could try to help you get out of this unhealthy mind set.

[Revolution]

Hey there,

I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this. Eating disorders are not fun at all. They're just hell. But you can recover! I saw in another thread that you are receiving therapy for your eating disorder. Have you talked to your therapist about how you're feeling? Have you talked about these behaviors? I bet they'd be able to help with many great coping mechanisms and be able to help you not feel so terrible anymore. I would also let some of your closer friends know about your eating disorder so when you're around them, they can help you with the simple things, such as finishing your food, eating three meals, and distracting you from purging. I'm going to leave you with one last thing, it's just a silly thread a made a while ago, but they're listed ways of me and some others' about coping with eating disorder habits. It's a great list to be able to find new non-triggering ways to get your mind away so you don't binge, restrict, or purge, and also help you calm down in a panic.

Good luck!

[Heartlines.]

With eating disorders, if you've had it for a long time, your body and mind is trained to reject food. this is because you've essentially trained your body to do that. When you tell yourself that food is disgusting and that it's bad, you're going to automatically start thinking that, even if you don't want to. Same with purging. If you purge so much, anything you eat, your body is going to reject it because it doesn't think it's supposed to be there. It's to my understanding that you have a therapist. Can you bring this up with your therapist? Or even with your grandma? If you're working towards recovery, this could be a major road block and should be sorted as quickly as you can. Also, I agree with Traci, let your friends support you and help you. Having people around will really make it easier to cope with.