Rant + Issue. please help

[Runninggiraffe]

I used to limit my calorie intake. It would plummet or raise. My waist and stomach got smaller, but i still felt big.
Ugh, now i just feel like a freaking cow because i keep overeating. I tried to eat 5 healthy small meals today but i just freaking.ate.my.feeling.
Ew
I mean today my dad shouted at me. Sounds like No big deal, right? Well he never shouts at me so it kind of shook me. He made my little brother cry and i went to check on him but he was spazzing at me too and shut the door on my face... And when i went back downstairs i got mad at my dad and said "why'd you have to make him cry?" just as i was walking by him. He was like "YOU SHUTUP! Got on your freakin' computer". I feel really pathetic for crying, though. Pa.thet.ic.
The reason i started crying was because he was trying to act like he didnt yell at me to shutup (my mom heard him yell and asked me and my sister who he was telling, then she started shouting at us because none of us spoke) He said "i didnt tell anyone to shutup!". Then he and my mom started fighting, then he started actung all innocent then they were both laughing BLAH BLAH BLAH.
About an hour later he said he was sorry and kissed me on my cheek, but i just started crying again. Cheap.

IM GETTING OFF TRACK AAHH. I need someone to help me get rid of emotional eating or at least help me try and tell somebody so i can be treated properly. Because like i said, i used to limit my calorie intake. But now i just eat loads. But Im at a healthy BMI and the stuff i usually binge on consist if at least 4-5 bowls of bran flakes or rice krispies. And i binge on pasta (2 1/2 plates, lotta sauce) at least once a week. I hate what im doing to myself if its even anything.
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. Im tired of feeling fat

[Harlequin.]

Hey there,

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I think you already know what I'm going to say to you- and that's that it would be really help to tell someone, who'll be able to get you the support you deserve. A therapist will be able to help you address your disordered eating, and also talk through the problems you're having at home with you. He or she might be able to meet with your dad and discuss it with him, and work out possible solutions- but only with your consent.

Things YOU can do however, is try and stick to the 5 small meals a day plan, but make sure you ARE getting enough calories. I think you've been very strong to try and eat 5 meals a day, well done Anorexia is a disease that isn't worth losing a few pounds. Since you've admitted cutting calories previously, this is also something you should mention to however you speak to.

As for WHO to speak to- anyone you trust, and is in a good position to help you. I told my head of year- I knew him enough that I trusted him, but he wasn't directly involved like my family, so I found him easiest to talk to. If you're close to your family, or feel you could talk to them, they're probably the best one's to tell. But if you feel you can't, you could talk to a teacher, a family friend, a relative- anyone that can help. If you feel you can't talk to them, you could write a letter- I find it helps to see all my muddled thoughts on paper, it allows me to make more sense of them.

Whoever you decide to tell- good luck! I'm proud of you for accepting you need help, and I and so many other people are always here if you need to talk or need support. You're never alone