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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
CitizenErased Offline
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The C Word [Possible Trig] - May 6th 2012, 11:52 PM

Death has fascinated me for years. Everybody dies, nobody can protect themselves from the inevitable. Even though everyone knows that everyone dies, nobody really expects to die young. I, like everyone else assumed that I'd die when I was old, married and had grandchildren to look after. But the truth is, tens of thousands of teenagers die in the UK each year of deadly diseases. Last week was 'Teenage Cancer Awareness Week', on the radio the presenters said that all teenagers should check for cancer symptoms online and see if there were any causes for concern. The day after hearing this advert, I watched the latest episode of House, which is all about a doctor with cancer. It showed the unbelievable pain that he went through during chemo a little too well...

I checked the cancer symptoms I should be looking out for online and what happened next was quite possibly the most terrifying experience I've ever had. Almost all the symptoms for prostate cancer matched with what I have been suffering from over the past couple of years. I've assumed all this time that they were separate medical conditions that just got worse over time, I was wrong. The thought of having cancer has taken over all of my thoughts completely of the past few days, it's the only thing I can think about.

I went to a walk-in center near to where I live on Saturday, and the nurse said that it's alarming how many symptoms fit, but that the chance that a 17 year old could have this type of cancer was very slim, however still very much possible. I'm going to see my GP this week for blood and urine tests. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer found in men. It's a slow growing cancer which means that if I did have it, the cancer wouldn't have spread enough to need treatment for more than 5-10 years.

The thought that I may have cancer has caused my thinking to go all over the place. I've struggled with suicide thoughts and plans for about 2 years, and the thought of death there didn't scare me as much. It was in my control, if I didn't want to die I didn't have to. But with cancer, I'd suffer for weeks, months maybe years and never have control over my fate.

I'm trying not to panic, but when there's a possibility of cancer, it's impossible to control any thoughts. I have only told 1 friend, I haven't told my parents - I don't want that discussion to come up until I know a little more after seeing my doctor.

Things with my parents have just gone insane recently as well. After coming back from hospital and sorting out plans to move out, our relationship has just continued to deteriorate. Today I put my food in the wrong food recycling bin and a fight started with my dad. He pushed me and I pushed back and 2 minutes later I came away with a very expensive jumper ripped and a massive cut on my right arm caused by Dad's coat hanger. It was partly my fault, I didn't respond to his anger well. I've worked at KFC for more hours than I've slept since Thursday, I'm terrified about the C word and I have a GCSE exam next week and my first trumpet performance in 3 years on Wednesday. This is insane.

To anyone reading this, my advice to you would be to take some time out soon to think about what you really hope to get from your life. What can you do which would mean that when you're faced with death, sooner or later, you can look back at your like and say 'I've lived'.

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Re: The C Word [Possible Trig] - May 7th 2012, 12:43 AM

I have a close friend who's suffering from prostate cancer as well. It's rough. The problem is, nothing you can say or do can help. You might actually die overnight, with your whole life ahead of you and dreams unfufilled.

Then again you might die tonight from a metor crashing through the ceiling, or from a random brain hemmorhage. People die all the time. Cancer can be cured in many cases, and although I can't even pretend to know what that must feel like, you can't get caught up in the fact that you might die, because really you could already die at any moment, cancer or not. Really, the best thing to do is hope for the best, and find a way to cope. Live each day as if it is your last and seek a support network. You're 17, so if the tests come back and you have cancer it may be worthwhile to seek out support groups or organizations. They might sound cheesy, and some of them are, but it'll help to find others who are like-minded and going through the same thing.

Like I said though, no matter how much I wish I could; nothing I can say here can change the test results, so all you can do is hope for the best and find a way to deal with it if you actually are sick. Best of luck.

- Justin



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Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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Re: The C Word [Possible Trig] - May 7th 2012, 12:52 PM

Well, to be honest, most of the time if you have a disease, you won't have all the symptoms of the disease. Not to say it doesn't happen, but it is very rare.

Also, I had a cancer scare last year. I found a lump in my breast. Very large one at that. It took over a month to get tests done and the results. Turned out it was nothing at all to worry about.

Think of how unlikely it is for you to have cancer. Does it run in your family? What is the prognosis if you do have it? What are possible treatments?

It helped me to research as much as I could. Finding out probability and risk factors.

As Justin pointed out, finding a support group would be great if you do find out you have cancer. But again, just because you have it, does not mean there isn't hope. We are advancing so much in technology and medicine. Surviving cancer is definitely possible. Even people with terminal cancers are living much longer than ever before, and I know a few people who were given just a few months and lived several years.

Good luck and let us know what you find out. PM me if you need to talk. Hang in there and stay strong! You've got us on TH here to support you
   
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Re: The C Word [Possible Trig] - May 8th 2012, 11:01 AM

Thanks Justin and Kelly! You're right Justin, there's not much that my friends can do to help, but the support that I have got from them and people here on TH has given me a much more positive outlook on the whole cancer situation. A meteor crashing through the ceiling would be a tragic way to die, but quite a cool one! Haha. I'm going for some tests this afternoon, after that I should have a better idea of what the situation is. If it's still worrying, I will probably start looking around for support groups in my area just in case I might go on to need one.

I don't know anyone in my close family who has cancer or has died from it, but there might be some people who have illnesses I don't know about. Your cancer scare sounds aweful, I'm glad that it all worked out ok in the end Hopefully I'll be the same. Who knows?!

Thanks for your nice posts, I might take you up on the offer of having a chat Kelly if that's ok! <3


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Re: The C Word [Possible Trig] - May 8th 2012, 02:07 PM

That is more than okay And hope you get some answers today!
   
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