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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Speckled Gecko Offline
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Question Really scared for intimate examination. Please Help?! - March 11th 2013, 12:02 PM

Hi, this is really awkward, but here goes...
I have something not right with my period and I've been told that I need to go to the Docs where they'll do an examination and then might refer me to gyno. But, this absolutely petrifies me!! When I was younger (around 8) I had 'forced experiences' which involved penetration by both males and females and since then, I haven't done anything with anyone that involves intimacy. (Please don't say anything like i just need to get over it )
The thought of someone being 'down there' makes me physically panic and tense up, especially as they will have control. I haven't told anyone this, so telling the doctor would panic me too. Are they still able to do these examinations if the person is really tense and would they be able to just ignore it if I started crying?
Sorry, this is a lot of questions in one, but any help would be brilliant. Thanks
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Re: Really scared for intimate examination. Please Help?! - March 11th 2013, 06:38 PM

You're not going to be the first person in this situation. If you were being examined and began to cry, I feel pretty confident in saying that the doctor would stop and ask you if you were okay and if you would want to continue or stop there. YOU are in control. You don't have to have this done. You will be choosing to have it done and if you do decide to have this done, you can stop at any point, all you have to do is say, can we please stop.

I would encourage you to talk to your doctor beforehand because personally I think for me, that would make it easier, but this is about you so you need to think about whether you feel that would be beneficial for you. You could also think about talking a family member or a close friend for support too.

But honestly, I know it's hard and I get that, but remember to take deep breathes. The doctor cares about you, wants what is best for you and you are in control. <3

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Really scared for intimate examination. Please Help?! - March 12th 2013, 11:23 PM

I know it's tough but I'd really encourage you to explain to the doctor why you're not fully relaxed about the whole procedure. You don't have to give any detail; you might just say that you had a bad experience - but if they knew things had happened to you when you were younger they'll be very understanding. Like the above poster said you're definitely not the first in this position. Just remember they're not there to make you uncomfortable or to hurt you in any way, they're looking out for you and they've had plenty of patients in similar positions - I actually started crying right before my last sear text out of worry and they were perfectly nice about it!! Best of luck love.xx

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Re: Really scared for intimate examination. Please Help?! - March 14th 2013, 01:25 AM

As both of the above have said, you're the one in control of the situation, and they will make every effort possible to make you as comfortable as possible.
I know it will be hard and scary, but I think it would also be a good idea to let someone like your doctor know that you had a bad experience when you were younger. I can tell that it's affecting you a lot, so getting rid of some of that burden might help you out a bit. And I don't mean that in the "just get over it" way, I mean it in the "nobody should have to feel sad" way.

Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.

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Re: Really scared for intimate examination. Please Help?! - March 14th 2013, 09:30 PM

Hey Spohie,
Going to the doctor to get checked down there in general is scary. Especially ten times scary in your situation. But like the girls who have replied to this post said, you are in control. But I would suggest to tell the doctor before starting the examination because he/she might say "If your not comfortable thats okay". I have never been in your situation with the "forced experiences" but I can say I am in the same boat when it comes to getting checked down there. I tense up, and I even cried my first time because it felt so uncomfortable that my doctor even asked if I have ever had a "forced experience" when I was younger. Which I haven't, but being a virgin and never having been touched down there it was scary. But my Doctor stopped and said that she knew I was uncomfortable and we talked things over about what she examined while down there until she stopped. Just talk it through with yours hun. It will be alright if you need to talk you can always PM me!

Edgar Allen Poe "And so all the night-tide, I lie down by the side of my darling-my darling-my life and my bride, in the sepulcher there by the sea".
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