On medication again :(

[random.swirls]

Hi, on Tuesday evening I broke down and everything that I had been bottling up for 2 years all came out. On Wednesday I spoke to my doctor and she prescribed me citalopram.

I feel like a failure for being back on antidepressant. I was on fluoxetine last time and found that caused my weight gain.

If you've been on it, what is citalopram like?

[Rivière]

You're not a failure for being back on anti-depressants. Sometimes these sorts of things happen. Have you ever been in counselling or any sort of therapy for your troubles?

I've been on Citalopram, but it was short lived because I had such a weird side effect from it (lock jaw) and was so rare to experience that it wasn't even listed on the information leaflet. Otherwise it would have been ok.

Just remember that everyone's experiences of medication is different. They affect us all differently. What may not work for one, may work for another.

[random.swirls]

Originally Posted by Rivière

You're not a failure for being back on anti-depressants. Sometimes these sorts of things happen. Have you ever been in counselling or any sort of therapy for your troubles?

I've been on Citalopram, but it was short lived because I had such a weird side effect from it (lock jaw) and was so rare to experience that it wasn't even listed on the information leaflet. Otherwise it would have been ok.

Just remember that everyone's experiences of medication is different. They affect us all differently. What may not work for one, may work for another.

I've been referred to therapy as well. The side affects that I'm having is headache, dry mouth , tiredness and numbness in hands and feet but I'm hoping that it goes away once I'm on it for a week.

[Celyn]

I've not been on citalopram and I do hope the side affects subside for you soon. I just wanted to drop by and say that you aren't a failure for being back on an anti-depressant. Medication is there to help and it doesn't mean that you are a failure or that you haven't coped. You are only human and things can get overwhelming at times and it's okay, good in fact, to realise when you might need a bit of extra support.

[random.swirls]

Thank you. I feel like I'll end up being on antidepressant for my whole life

[Mallika]

Hi Meera,

Thank you so much for reaching out. Seeking help, visiting the doctor, etc. are all signs that you are actively pursuing a course of action to better your current state. This is something you should be proud of yourself about

While I've not been on Citalopram or any other antidepressant before, I think there's nothing to be ashamed at all about being on an antidepressant when you are in need of it. You are already miles ahead of someone who intentionally refuses to take medication especially when they need it. You're on the way to restoring your health; what's there to feel ashamed about? If anything, you're really brave for coming forward to your doctor about your health and proactively taking steps to heal yourself.

It's good that you are monitoring your side effects; continue keeping an eye on them and consult with your doctor if they persist. And like Rivière said, you might also want to strongly consider therapy.

We all have these horrible phases in my life; but they are phases. They do come and go, and much of how long and how much they affect us is dependent on how much we let them affect us. I struggled with OCD for 4-5 years but it subsided eventually. Even I thought it would plague me forever initially, but today I am OCD-free because I changed my outlook on it. It might help if you think of yourself as distinct from what you're going through e.g. you are not your depression. You are stronger than it and can rise above it, among all other adversities. Finally, remember that you are an important person and you matter, so always reach out to someone instead of bottling it up.

Take care, and you'll get well soon! You can always DM me if you have any more questions

[Proud90sKid]

I was on a similar drug: escitalopram--which is basically the same thing as a teenager. It did not make me gain any weight. In fact I noticed few effects from it. Some slight improvement in mood maybe but was not enough to make a large difference. If I went off suddenly would get brain zaps and feel somewhat feverish. Other than that, it was not a very strong drug.

The first time I took it, while I was aware that it would take weeks for it to "work", I consciously paid attention to see if I could feel any sort of head change at all when it hit. Nothing.


I was also on Adderall though and that will mitigate some of the side effects.

[random.swirls]

Thank you Mallika. Yes I would definitely like to get better. Yes I've been referred to counselling. I like your idea of changing my outlook distinct from depression. Thank you for your kind words.

Thank you proud90skid . I'm currently monitoring the side affects. At the moment nausea has reduced. The dry mouth and numb hands and feet are still there but if my mood gets better then I would rather stay on this medication instead of changing it because of a few side affects.