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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Valantha Offline
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Hideously Fat - January 27th 2009, 09:26 PM

This sounds idiotic and it's in the wrong section but I want to avoid the harsh brutality of the Fitness forum for the first few posts (seriously those bodybuilders haven't developed any tact, joke)

I used to have the motivation to lose weight but now I don't. I've lost all confidence in myself, academically, physically and mentally. I used to have positive interaction with my peers but now it's all negative. I get bullied even worse for my weight and also for not having a boyfriend (I can't get one because I'm fat and therefore hideous).


I'm not demanding pity and wouldn't expect from this forum tbh. Just please don't say, "Lose weight, fatass." I want advice not insults.


Excuses (yes I know they are! I'm not dumb) :


I went down from a large size xx to a size xx. My lowest was a big xx but I gained weight during the last term because nobody wanted to be friends with me, didn't feel like losing weight and couldn't get exercise through walking.

I can't afford much at all! I had to spend my Christmas money on a coat for school (my mum claimed she couldn't afford it) so I could walk there and back without freezing, so I can walk an hour a day to burn some calories and increase fitness.

I can only go to the school gym twice a week after school because that when it is open.

I cannot eat salad because it literally makes me retch when I eat it. Even with dressing, it still tastes like leafy mud to me.



What Advice I actually need:

- How to motivate myself to do anything (I'm apathetic to everything)
- Recipes (because my mum will only cook unhealthy meals like Cottage Pie and Burgers)
- How to exercise properly and gradually increase my fitness again
- How to develop a self-esteem (and no, I can't join any clubs! There aren't any free ones in my area to my knowledge, unless you're willing to research hours for! )
- How to make people not hate me because they all seem to hate or ignore me (today some girls asked me to sit next to them and they spat all over my dinner which was a Baked Potato and Colesaw)
- How to ignore my bullies because the school won't do anything about it
- How to cope being poor
- How to feel happy
- How to get a Boyfriend (because I'm getting bullied for not having one my entire life)
- How to deal with hunger

Last edited by Pandamonium; January 27th 2009 at 11:16 PM. Reason: no measurements/weight numbers allowed.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
St.Vincent Offline
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Re: Hideously Fat - January 27th 2009, 09:33 PM

Do not post measurements on the TH forum. It is a violation of the rules and is triggering for other people!!!

That being said, the healthiest way to lose weight is the slow way. Eat healthy, and get plenty of activity. I am a go-go for walking. I love it, and definitely keep it up. As for the salad, don't eat salad if you don't like it! I think there are probably healthy eating books (not diets) available in your local bookstore. I would go in there and copy them without buying the books, lol. I bet they've got recipies and stuff, too. Eat things like apples and carrots in between meals, and eat more small meals instead of a few big ones. Welcome to TH, though. I am certain you will find experts on the topics of healthy eating here. I've met a few people who look like they know what they're on about.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hideously Fat - January 27th 2009, 11:11 PM

Ah, women's sizes.. why cant they be similar to the men's? Anyways, aside from the sizes meaning nothing to me, they're not allowed. They could trigger blah blah blah.
I'll try to go in order of the advice things that are easiest:

How to ignore ==> at least for me, this is the easiest. Simply don't care what they think. I consider everyone to be a moron, and sometimes (although quite often for the majority) spineless. They're insignificant to you, and insignificance doesn't affect you. Or, they're so pathetic about themselves that they insult you. Or, laugh at them. Right in their face. Who gives a shit if you're fat, skinny, tall, short? It's simply a container. The inside, what's in your head matters.

You cant make everyone like you. Some will hate you just because people are all different, and some just get pissed off at you for being you. Go ahead, change yourself. Those initial people may not hate you but others will. Once again: they're insignificant and who gives a shit if a few people hate you? So what? Let them hate you. Doesn't matter.

Recipes.. buy a book, look online, problem solved for that one.

Motivation... you want a boyfriend don't do? You want to not be bullied/hated (despite the fact that we all still will be hated even if we change)? There's some motivation. Or, find someone whose fatter than you are. Put a picture of them near a mirror. Each morning, look at yourself. Then, look at the pictures. Yes, they're fatter but you're getting to where they are. I'm assuming you don't want to and there's some more motivation.

Self-esteem... goes with building skin. Doesn't matter what others say. Just be yourself, feel good. I cant give any advice because not giving a shit about anyone, letting them say whatever has been fairly natural to me for such a long time. Clubs didn't help, I did it on my own.

To get a boyfriend... lose weight and DON'T look for one. I speak for myself when I say this but girls who clearly are showing off themselves to get attention, get a boyfriend, tend to turn me away. The exception is, they're very good-looking, in which case they probably have a boyfriend and are just attention-seekers. I say this quite a lot because as simple as it may seem, most people suck at it: read the person. Not stuff like are they happy, sad, angry. Look at them, get an idea of not only what they like/dislike, but what is bothering them. look at how they dress, and perhaps, what they're studying. Their income, how they interact, who they interact with, what they think of others, how their self-esteem is, etc... . I look at someone, I can pinpoint all of this and more fairly accurately. Why? Look at what's not obvious. I know people tend to say they do.. bullshit. Do an experiment: in a library or hallway, put $10 or $5 or $2 out. Right where it's busy, see how many people don't pick it up. Or, see how often someone steps right in a pile of dog crap. Look for what's not obvious.

Or, get practice and talk/try it on random people. Doesn't matter if you like them or not, same or different gender. Use them as what they're great for: guinea pigs.

Deal with hunger... eat foods that won't digest right away. Proteins tend to slow digestion, same with fats. Doesn't mean stuff you face with fat but have some. Also, with exercise, your metabolism will increase. You'll get hungrier. Either, don't eat and eventually don't get properly nutritioned but lose weight in an unhealthy way or eat proteins, fruits, etc... .

I think this quote was from Kris Kristofferson (old guy in Blade movies): Don't let the bastards get you down.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Wink Re: Hideously Fat - February 12th 2009, 12:48 AM

If motivation is your lock, I have a key. When i Joined the DEP (delayed entry program) program for the marines, i hadn't worked out for going on three years. After my first PT (phyiscal training) i had puked, almost passed out, and puked some more. I was determined never to go back. However i knew this was my last chance to do something with my life. I had to find a key to stay motivated. After some research I decided to try an almost Pavolovian(sp) system of behavior and reward. When i find myself slacking at PT i remind myself "If you dont push it you cant have a soda tonight." Now soda isnt very healthy, but i believe everything is ok in moderation. Find something simple you enjoy and use it as a reward every time you do work out and stick to your daily diet. (however is it is sugary or has caffine make sure you stick to moderation and and only reward yourself eight hours before you work out and no less than 2 after you finish your workout.) Everybodys is diffrent and this may not work for you. Also you may want to try a workout buddy. Somtimes going to the gym or even running with somebody is a good way to keep you motivated. And most importantly dont start any workout routine without consulting a Medical Professional. Good luck!
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hideously Fat - February 12th 2009, 01:25 AM

- How to motivate myself to do anything (I'm apathetic to everything)
:Imagine how awesome you're going to look once you've lost weight How much better you'll feel, how many friends you'll get, and a boyfriend!

- Recipes (because my mum will only cook unhealthy meals like Cottage Pie and Burgers)
: I like cottage cheese, with pineapple. It's good. Just cut all sugary drinks, and drink water and unsugared tea. That will curb your appetite, make you feel more full, and that's sooo many calories that you'll get rid of.

- How to exercise properly and gradually increase my fitness again
: Slowly increase. Stay in your room if you want, jog in place?

- How to develop a self-esteem (and no, I can't join any clubs! There aren't any free ones in my area to my knowledge, unless you're willing to research hours for! )
:Affirmations. It sounds silly, but look in the mirrior and say good things about yourself.

- How to make people not hate me because they all seem to hate or ignore me (today some girls asked me to sit next to them and they spat all over my dinner which was a Baked Potato and Colesaw)
: The only reason I wouldn't sit next to someone overweight is if they smell bad. If you smell good, then they are just being idiots.

- How to ignore my bullies because the school won't do anything about it
: Ignore.

- How to cope being poor
:I did it my whole life. Show that it doesn't effect you.

- How to feel happy
: Find out what makes you happy.

- How to get a Boyfriend (because I'm getting bullied for not having one my entire life)
: You don't have to have one. Be yourself and don't follow the crowd unless you're happy with where they are going.

- How to deal with hunger
: Difference. Hunger you need food. Appetite you want food. Eat when you're hungry.
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hideously Fat - February 12th 2009, 01:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xHolyValorx View Post
Imagine how awesome you're going to look once you've lost weight How much better you'll feel, how many friends you'll get, and a boyfriend!
I think that if the people at her school don't want to be friends with her based on her appearance, then they wouldn't be any good friends to have!

I can relate to not feeling like anyones interested because you are overweight. BUT when i go around town and things i see loads of couples about, with the people all shapes and sizes. like i mean big girls too! If a guy only likes you for your appearance (as i was on about with friends aswell) then that's not someone who deserves to have you.


You deserve people to love you and treat you with respect. im sorry people at your school seem such idiots. I know what it's like to have people at school do that kind of shit but i would hope that there are at least a few people who don't think/act all in the same way.

Im sorry i don't have any startling new advice for you. And im really sorry i cant actually get to know you. I am on a mission to lose weight right now too, although its a bit hit and miss with what mood im in so its not all that successful! Hope you get more of the life you deserve - a happy one!

Lots of love,
Tracy x
   
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Re: Hideously Fat - February 12th 2009, 02:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost~but~legal View Post
I think that if the people at her school don't want to be friends with her based on her appearance, then they wouldn't be any good friends to have!

I can relate to not feeling like anyones interested because you are overweight. BUT when i go around town and things i see loads of couples about, with the people all shapes and sizes. like i mean big girls too! If a guy only likes you for your appearance (as i was on about with friends aswell) then that's not someone who deserves to have you.


You deserve people to love you and treat you with respect. im sorry people at your school seem such idiots. I know what it's like to have people at school do that kind of shit but i would hope that there are at least a few people who don't think/act all in the same way.

Im sorry i don't have any startling new advice for you. And im really sorry i cant actually get to know you. I am on a mission to lose weight right now too, although its a bit hit and miss with what mood im in so its not all that successful! Hope you get more of the life you deserve - a happy one!

Lots of love,
Tracy x

Ooh-rah to that
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drowningangel Offline
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Re: Hideously Fat - February 12th 2009, 06:16 PM

It seems like you have alot of issues that don't just relate to your weight or physical appearance. Keep in mind that even if you're not "textbook" weight for your height, everyone is different. Even if you are overweight and need to get into shape, self esteem is not physical and is something that should be thought about. I only mention this due to the following areas you needed tips on boyfriends and social issues. I know you mentioned self esteem, but maybe consider visiting your guidance counselor about your self esteem and some things you might be able to do to help those issues you're dealing with.

Here are some websites that may give you some tips to help with your low self esteem:

KidsHealth
AtHealth.com
National Mental Health Information Center
FamilyEducation

Note: Please consult with a physician before beginning an exercise regime or diet, especially if you have medical problems that may interfere.


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hideously Fat - February 13th 2009, 08:54 PM

EDIT: Weight and measurements are not to be posted it is a violation of the code of conduct and triggering to other individuals. Also, extensive exercise routines/diet tips should not be posted. Before starting any weight loss regime please consult a doctor. -Stacey

With all due respect, these people posted in order to help you and put there time into it. I suggest you take up on it, and don't give excuses.

But I'll throw in my two cents. First off, October21st I was xxxlbs, and fat as a 'blob' if you know what that is. Today, I'm xxxlbs and I've put on a lot of muscle at the same time.

The key to doing this is basically consistency. But you also need a solid diet and work-out routine. Therefor, you need motivation and ENERGY. To get this, think about things that drive you. You can't rely on other people to tell you what motivates you, because everyone is different. Music is what motivates me, hard-core pump up music and when I'm training and I don't want to finish 6 miles of running, I think about all the times kids called me fat ass or lardo.

Recipes, your mom, she doesn't cook for you anymore. Your going to cook for yourself. No more fast food, junk food or proccessed foods. Prepare your own meals. If you live in the states, take Pepsi One for a diet soda. All other ones have aspartame and can affect you mentally.. No joke.

If you want and I'm NOT advertising my site but to get constant pointers, tips, suggestions and such go to my site and create a journey. The link is in my signature. I will personally reply to your posts.

And yes, I'm 15 but I put 6 years of research int othis and I know my stuff.



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Last edited by Stacey; February 13th 2009 at 10:05 PM.
   
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