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Atychiphobia Offline
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Unhappy I need some support please :( - January 5th 2011, 11:44 AM

I have a heart condition; Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy.
It's very wrong of me I know, but I've been avoiding my appointments and check-ups for nearly 6 months.. I just wanted to be able to live normally without people constantly saying "What about your heart" "Maybe you shouldn't do that" I know there trying to look out for me but it does nothing but make me feel invalid and pathetic Plus I felt like things couldn't really be that bad with it cause surely I would know..After a month or so no-body really mentioned my heart anymore and I finally felt free. I got a letter through from my specialist hospital St Georges, this morning basicly insisting they saw me, because they needed to discuss how having a special pacemaker is necessary and would benefit me greatly so it is truely reccomended. I didn't realise things were this bad
I'm scared. Actually I don't think scared even covers it..
I feel too young for a pacemaker, shouldn't I be like an old granny in a nursing home before I have to worry about these things.. I wanted to avoid all this and I have seen how much it's restricted my mums life since she's had hers fitted.. I'm only 19! I want my life, and I don't want every little thing to be restricted, I don't wanna constantly be looked at like a thief because the damn thing sets off security alarms. I wanna be able to drink if I want, exercise is pretty much my only coping strategy - without it, I really don't know what I'm going to do.. Your not supposed to have extended contact with technology - I NEED my Ipod. Theme parks, alcohol, tattoos.. so many things have to change.
I know if I don't have this I'm alot more likely to die, but I feel so trapped, everything completely taken out of my hands. I just wanna cancel my appointment, and hide away and pretend I never got the letter. This feels like the end of everything.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for really.. Anyone else have a pacemaker??
Anyone got any spare hugs?? I'm scared and don't know what to do.. Help.


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я.ι.ρ ηαηηу -
уσυ ℓєт υѕ 3rd мαян 2011.
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RunningWild Offline
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Re: I need some support please :( - January 5th 2011, 01:58 PM

Hey
I know having a pacemaker seems bad, and like you have to give up a lot of things. But so many people live a relatively normal life with one, and they're not all old grannies :P I actually know two teenagers who have one and say that it's not really so bad. As for setting off metal detectors, well, maybe, but you'll be given a card to show people like my mother with metal knees has! Believe me, going to the doctor and following their suggestions is far better than screwing with a heart problem.
Spare hug! And good luck


   
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Kitty. Offline
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Re: I need some support please :( - January 5th 2011, 03:26 PM

Hey,

I don't have a pacemaker, but I wanted to respond to give you support anyways. I know it probably sounds scary and frustrating to have a pacemaker, but it will greatly improve your quality of life. It will make you a lot more healthy and it will extend your life.
Going to the doctor is the best idea and I really think you should go. It's for your own good. We are all here to support you through this difficult time.
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