Female Advice Preferred: I don't know what's wrong with me...

[||totoroftw||]

Alright, so I'm about to turn 16, I'm around 5'7", and I hate being fat. I was never really "skinny". I was always a big girl. The reason being... I don't eat vegetables. There, I said it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to hitting rock bottom. You see, I always told myself, you're fine, it's okay, as long as you don't pass x amount of weight. Well what do you know? Recently, when they weighed me at the doctor, I had done just that. I don't know what else to do. I'm already in sports, and yes, it did help me lose some weight, but my diet holds me back more than you can imagine. That, and I have no self-esteem, and no confidence. It's not like I hate all vegetables. It's just that I don't eat the ones that would actually help me. In the past I have tried to eat better vegetables, but after a few bites I can't go any further without feeling the need to throw it all back up. What the hell is wrong with me?!? For example, lettuce. I can't stand eating big leaves of lettuce, it's just ughhhhh The same goes for broccoli, carrots, cabbage, and the list goes on. The idea of eating a salad repulses me. It seems like any amount of exercise I do is useless since I'm just eating all the calories back and more. Especially now that I'm on Christmas Break, and sports are on hold, I have no motivation to exercise. To put it simply, sports are basically the only exercise I ever get. I'm the only child, and my parents aren't of much help. My dad may be the athletic one who encouraged me to join sports, but his diet isn't exactly top notch. He mostly eats meat and rice (common food where I'm from). He has high cholesterol because of this. My mom on the other hand has a slightly better diet than he does, but she's still bigger because switches back and forth between eating healthy and eating junk food like me. She also gets little to no exercise whatsoever because "her back is hurting". My weight is really affecting me, not just physically. I can barely look in the mirror, and I refuse to take pictures unless I have to because I feel that I'm ugly and fat and I always will be. Seriously though. You can see it in the few pictures of me. My belly is sticking out, and so are my fat arms and my fat face no matter how I dress. My mom may be bigger than me now, but if I keep this up we'll be sharing pants in no time, since I already can't fit my dad's... Please. I'm practically begging for help. I considered suicide a few years ago but that's one of the times that God saved me. In all honesty, the world would be fine without me. Hell, it would probably benefit, but I can't leave yet. In the meantime, I'm going to end up morbidly obese with diabetes and heart problems like some people in my family if I continue the way I'm going. Even if some miracle occurs causing me to start eating and exercising right, and I become healthy, I'll probably continue to see myself as the ugly person that I am. I'm on the verge of giving up, so please, give me options as to how I can get myself out of this mess.

[Katrina]

Hi RJ.

Vegetables are important for healthy weight-loss/dieting, yes, but they're not going to make or break you completely. If you don't like eating vegetables, there's no need to force yourself to when you can get those nutrients in other ways. Forcing yourself to eat vegetables sounds like it would be making food the enemy, and food is not the enemy. Yes, unhealthy portions of food can be bad, but unhealthy portions of ANYTHING can be bad. On the note of getting vegetables without actually eating vegetables, have you ever heard of V8, the drink, for example? Check out some of its awesome benefits here.

A few things that came to my mind as I was reading your post:

A) When the doctor weighed you, were you able to ask him or her about potentially setting up a target weight for yourself? Your doctor is there for your health, and that includes maintaining a healthy weight. Were you able to ask your doctor about setting up a diet for you? At best, your doctor could work with you to get you on a healthful weight loss plan and make some suggestions catered to what s/he knows about YOU and YOUR lifestyle that would help you achieve a healthy weight. At least, your doctor could refer you to a dietician, which sounds like it would be an AWESOME thing for you.

B) Have you ever thought about investing in a personal trainer? Yes, they can be expensive, but they can be so, so worth it. It kind of nips the problem of motivation in the bud, as long as you are motivated enough to actually drive yourself to the gym, because when you're in a personal training session, the trainer's focus AND your focus are on you. There's no room/time to be unmotivated and not giving 100%, you know? If you're in the United States, I recommend (for an affordable option) that you look into your local YMCA for some different options and packages for personal training. Another reason why this would be helpful would be because the personal trainer could evaluate you and then set up an exercise regimen based on your goals and strengths and weaknesses. And coming from a fellow athlete, I can tell you that this is so important, 'cause sometimes, as an athlete, doing the regular weight-training/cardio circuit just doesn't cut it, when its what you do in practice every day, for example.

C) A resource that I've used before (after I gained a bit of weight this summer and wanted to lose it) is Choose My Plate, a wonderful resource set up by the US Department of Agriculture. Some of my favorite parts of the website are the Weight Management and Calories section, as well as all of the fantastic tips and tricks for healthy eating. I'd give it a read through if you have time - you might be surprised at some of the many things you can learn from that website!

RJ, it sounds like you really do want to get in shape. And you have the power to be the change you want to see in yourself! I'm so proud of you for keeping a mindset of losing weight the healthy way - that's going to be so important for your health in the long run, and I hope you are able to establish an eating / diet and exercise regimen that you are able to hold on to. If you start from the beginning telling yourself that you won't be able to do it, you won't. I REALLY cannot stress how important it is to have a confident mentality about what you can do, and an intelligent, athletic girl like yourself? Yeah, you can do anything you want to do. (:

Its so hard to decide we want to change, RJ, but once again, it sounds like you've made that choice! From this point, its so important that you have support from family and friends and even -- as I mentioned earlier in my post -- professionals (dietician? Personal trainer?). I didn't realize it before the past few months, but weight loss is hard. And I think a lot of people don't realize that until they embark on that journey themselves, but if you're able to draw support and encouragement from a few people (your dad? Some of your friends? Maybe?) who know how tough it is, they really are hopefully going to help you more than you could realize at the beginning of your journey. (: And of course, if ever you need extra support or encouragement to be healthy, you know where to find us.

Best of luck to you.

[BDF]

I'm not aware that specifically not eating vegetables significantly contributes towards people being fat. Veg and fruit are usually needed for vitamins, and act as a sort of "lubricant" for your digestive system. If you want to find the cause of you being overweight I suggest you look at what you're eating instead of what you're not eating first.

Let's just assume, that no matter what, you are "allergic" to vegetables. So instead, you eat pizza to get through the day. There are better things than pizza. Pre-packed, or pre-made pizza is almost certain to have a whole load of crap in it. Consider instead cooking yourself, a whole chicken (roasting it is good). Chicken has a good reputation of providing lean meat. Beef is also good, but it's a bit harder to cook, more expensive usually, and slightly less lean. Also to keep the diet balanced I suggest you try and force some bred down to go with it.

If you can't stand eating raw veg (as it sounds like that's what you've been trying), try to be a bit more innovative with it. Maybe roast vegetables, with some spices. Or try to make a smoothie/shake out of them... put them in a blender, there are plenty of recipes online, and you might have to try a few before you find some that you like.

If you find veg difficult to eat, you'l probably need vitamin supplements to make up for the "void" in your diet. But pls don't use them as substitutes if you can help it.

[escape_thereal_world]

I agree with BDF on his suggestions
Also, fish is very healthy for you as well. Not only is it great for maintaining or losing weight, it also has other health benefits.
For another veggie idea, try brocolli soup. Also, I never liked veggies mixed with my food, but I absolutely love chicken noodle soup with cooked carrots and celery in it. You can do this easily at home and it doesn't take long at all. You will have a lot of leftover chicken (or just really large chunks in the soup) and can use leftovers to make a baked chicken dish for another night.