Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Porn has destroyed me physically and mentally, please help (young teen)

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""](This has gross and cringe things please be careful when you read) Hello.. I'm thirteen, male and obviously I'm addicted to porn and can't stop because I can't convince myself quitting is the right thing to do when I'm in the mood and even when I'm not in the mood a lot. I don't go places a lot because my mother still wants to home schools me in this high grade for some reason so I'm at home bored often feeding this addiction. I've been masturbating usually with porn since like age 9-11 and porn has caused me so many problems
1. I used to have a frenlum but all it is now is thin scars and a little redness extending from my urethral opening to almost the bottom of my shaft, my dick is literally splitting apart and the skin is getting thinner there

2. Porn is ruining my own thoughts desires and fantasies because it is kind of programming me to to like things only in porn (like incest, women being dehumanized, rape, and even male features which isn't OK for a straight person)

3. The second one is especially bad because porn was the first type of sex I was exposed to it is destroying my
brain like I said but luckily I learned what sex was not so long after

4. Uh I masturbated to porn before puberty I think which hit me at 11 but around 12 everything happened all at once and I blame pornography (facial hair, armpit hair, sperm, all at once very fast sad abt this)

5. It often takes 1+ hours to ejaculate even with porn

6. I almost had a mostly gay but a little straight anime wet dream (ikr cringe but sad and true)

I didn't ejaculate until I was 11 before that it was just climax

Ikr this is so cringeworthy but it is true because porn addiction at this age I guess probably sucks a lot and I,have to say what is true...

I still clean my frenlum after peeing hoping my scars will heal one day even though I almost cry knowing they won't
Life feels like it sucks rn advice please I'm being absolutely serious please[/size][/color][/font]

[Ennui.]

Hey,

I am so sorry you are going through this!

First, as far as your penis goes, do you ever go for physicals or see your doctor? I think it would be important to show them what's going on to see if there is anything they can do to help with the discomfort and help things heal. You want to make sure there's nothing that can cause an infection or permanent damage later on.

Do you think it would help if you installed parental controls/a child block on your computer? I know you would know the password, but the point would be that when the box comes up prompting you for your password, you'd have a reminder that maybe you should rethink what you are doing.

Maybe when you get the urge to watch porn, you replace it with another activity. Physical exercise may help because it gets out some of the energy you may be feeling and tires you out. But, you can use other things as well like video games, reading, or another hobby.

Don't be ashamed of what you are feeling or even your preferences. I know it feels embarrassing, but the important thing to remember is that you wouldn't do these things in real life. It is good that you learned what sex is, and definitely try to differentiate it from porn. A lot of the things in porn are not realistic and are made up, so don't set future sexual expectations based on what you see in porn.

Wet dreams are definitely normal, too, and they happen sometimes, especially as you are growing up!

I hope this helps some. Try to know that you are not a bad person, you are just struggling right now.

Take care,
Dez