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WishesAreGone Offline
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Unhappy First time. - June 16th 2012, 12:47 AM

The other day i drank for the first time. The friend i drank with and i agreed noone would be told. then she tole her boyfriend. and i told mine. now hers is just disappointed, mine is really disappointed and he wants me to tell my parents. I think it is a good idea but im scared. so much can go wrong. if i tell and they get mad my friend wont be able to go to church or hang out with me which means she wont see her boyfriend, my brother, anymore. she's lost so much and i don't want either of us slipping up again and self harming again, but i don't know... i am terrified. any advise?
   
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Re: First time. - June 16th 2012, 01:15 AM

No dont tell your parents and tell your bf to jsut keep his mouth shut its not his business to tell.
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Re: First time. - June 16th 2012, 02:43 AM

If you tell your parents you were only experimenting what would happen?
   
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Re: First time. - June 17th 2012, 05:33 AM

Tell your boyfriend to stop being a child. Ok, you are underage, but in all reality, you are a teenager, and you drank, teenagers do stuff like that. As long as it isn't a habit, I don't think it is a cause for concern, your aren't the only one who's done it. If you were like 18+ no one would give a damn.

You shouldn't tell your parents if you aren't allowed. If you know better and don't plan to go through it over and over they have no reason to know. Why would you confess to something after the fact? What will that REALLY accomplish? They can.... Punish you? You sound like you knew better, that should be good enough. Tell your boyfriend it is your place to decide when and how you bring it up to them (cause seriously, once you are older i highly doubt your parents will care, so even if you are like 19 before you tell them its not his place
   
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Re: First time. - June 17th 2012, 08:36 AM

Tell your parents because they need to trust you. The things you done that you shouldn't of done parents need to know because their the ones who is always looking out for you. It's not your boyfriend place to tell no. If you promise it wont happen again and make it up to them then things might turn out ok between you and your friend.
   
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Re: First time. - June 17th 2012, 01:00 PM

I don't see this as a big deal ~ but where I'm from most people start drinking at 14. I don't think you should have to tell your parents, and your boyfriend should understand that. You were just experimenting like every other teenager out there, and the consequences if you do tell them seem a bit extreme to me.


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Re: First time. - June 18th 2012, 03:20 AM

Here is my thing, I don't think it is necessary to keep it a secret. But I don't think you should have to go to confession over it, especially if, like i said, it won't become a new hobby. I don't think not telling your parents is some massive breach of trust or anything. Your parents don't have to know every last thing you do with your time. And I don' know how to properly explain that with out it sounding like I am encouraging lying (I'm not!!!). If you wanna tell them, tell them, but I'm just saying you don't have to go out of your way to do so if you know it's just going to cause all around problems if they take it badly, so make sure you can do damage control etc
   
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Re: First time. - June 18th 2012, 08:36 PM

You should tell them if you are HUNDRED per cent sure they will be cool. Otherwise you will end up losing their trust as well as many privileges you can afford currently.
But anyway, this is honestly not a big deal. So you drank once. As long as you don't make a habit of it, what's the harm? At this age, everyone likes experimenting with this stuff. I'm talking with experience.
Ask your boyfriend why he minds. If it's because he's scared you'll become addicted, tell him no one gets addicted by drinking once or twice. And he should look around and see that this is something highly prevalent and no big deal. If he worries for your safety, tell him to be with you next time to prevent anything from going wrong.
If it were me, I would expect my boyfriend to chill. Your friend should talk to your brother as his girlfriend. If you do, things could worsen as he would naturally be highly protective of you.


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Re: First time. - June 19th 2012, 07:12 AM

Don't tell them. At least not yet. If you aren't comfortable with telling them, than you shouldn't have to.
If your boyfriend truly cares for you, he'll listen to what you have to say and respect your decision. There is no need for concern, as long as you aren't doing it regularly. But honestly, I believe it is perfectly fine for you to drink every once in awhile if you want to. You're a teenager, and it's better to experiment with these kinds of things when you're younger, than when you're older because when you become an adult, small things that might get you in a little bit of trouble can get you in a lot of federal trouble. Just be safe, cautious, and responsible when you choose to drink.
   
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Re: First time. - June 19th 2012, 07:18 AM

Even though you're underage, it's okay if you just drank once. Just make sure that drinking doesn't become something you do often.
I really think you should tell your parents. Although they may not like it, I'm sure they'll feel that they can now trust you more. But tell them you do feel sorry about it, and won't make it a habit. : ) I really doubt that after this, they'll stop you from meeting up with your friend...they were once teenagers too, and I'm sure they'll realize that such things just tend to happen sometimes.
And yes, just tell your boyfriend to calm down...make him understand that it was just a one-time thing, and nothing to completely freak out about. : ) But yes, do tell him that you're sorry, and since he's disappointed due to you drinking that one time, you won't do it again. (...and I'm hoping you won't...at least till you're old enough. And even then, remember to drink moderately and just once in a while. Nothing majorly wrong about that.) : )

Last edited by katiep; June 19th 2012 at 07:24 AM.
   
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