TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Substance Use Whether you are combating substance abuse, are in search support, or have questions about drugs or alcohol, ask in this forum.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
br.94 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
br.94's Avatar
 
Name: Beth
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 25
Join Date: May 30th 2012

Question pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 04:23 AM

My boyfriend of 2 years loves to smoke pot. And in May we got caught smokin it by my parents. we live with them. and like he gets mad and defensive when i try to talk to him about it, and tonight we got into this really big fight, because he has been taking my pain pills. (i have really bad arthritis) and like i told him that i wished he wouldnt smoke pot anymore cause i didnt like it when he did. and then he got mad at me. and i really and truely love him. i'd be lost without him. sometimes i just feel like im fighting a losing battle, because honestly i feel like he loves it more than me and like i'm never gonna come first the pot always will..


-092610 <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
CorrieUSMC Offline
Ghost Rider
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
CorrieUSMC's Avatar
 
Name: Corrie
Gender: Attack helicopter
Location: New York

Posts: 666
Join Date: August 26th 2012

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 04:26 AM

Hi Beth
First, you need to make sure he can't get access to your pain meds, those are for you only!
Second, you really need to talk to him about his substance abuse and how its effecting your relationship; By the sounds of it, it does seem he values the substance more then you. Ask him to go seek help in trying to quit. If he truly loves you back, he'll quit for you


Feel better soon, Beth


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
br.94 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
br.94's Avatar
 
Name: Beth
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 25
Join Date: May 30th 2012

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 04:30 AM

i have tried to get him to get help. when we got caught it was because i failed a drug test at my work and i had to go through adanta to keep my job and it actually helped me alot. i just idk what to do anymore i love him more than words can explain but at the same time idk if i should leave him or stay with him.


-092610 <3
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
CorrieUSMC Offline
Ghost Rider
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
CorrieUSMC's Avatar
 
Name: Corrie
Gender: Attack helicopter
Location: New York

Posts: 666
Join Date: August 26th 2012

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 04:36 AM

If he continues stealing your pain meds, when they are YOUR Meds. You have to make a decision if he's worth it. Its up too you, but you shouldn't have to have your BF steal your meds from you, its Illegal and its dangerous.


   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
br.94 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
br.94's Avatar
 
Name: Beth
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 25
Join Date: May 30th 2012

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 04:57 AM

he told me about it tonight and apparently hes been doin it all week. and idk i love him but sometimes idk if he is the man i am meant to be with. i feel like he loves me but i think he has some serious issues that he needs to deal with too.


-092610 <3
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Maloo Offline
Maloooooo
I can't get enough
*********
 
Maloo's Avatar
 
Name: Lissa
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: The US

Posts: 2,585
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: January 12th 2010

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 04:59 AM

Honestly, he doesn't sound like much of a MAN at all. Stealing from you is not okay, especially when it's so he can fuel his drug need. If it were me, I'd be walking away.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
br.94 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
br.94's Avatar
 
Name: Beth
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 25
Join Date: May 30th 2012

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 05:03 AM

this is gonna sound really cliche or however you spell it.
but its hard to walk away from some one you love and honestly feel like you cant live with out because you both feel like the other one completes you.

i think maybe it was a bad idea to put this on here i should probably just talk to him about it


-092610 <3
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Maloo Offline
Maloooooo
I can't get enough
*********
 
Maloo's Avatar
 
Name: Lissa
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: The US

Posts: 2,585
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: January 12th 2010

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 03:41 PM

I don't think it was a bad idea for you to post on here, I think people are just telling you what you don't want to hear. And I understand that it's hard to walk away, most of us have been there in some way, shape, or form. We can just give you an unbiased opinion. No one ever said the right choices are always easy ones, unfortunately.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Eternal Offline
Lead Moderator

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Eternal's Avatar
 
Name: Nicole
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: PDX

Posts: 12,425
Join Date: October 14th 2010

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 05:00 PM

Let's try and put this in another perspective. Say instead of him being your boyfriend, he was one of your girl friends. If she was living with you and you know she was stealing pills from you and valuing pot over you, would you still be friends with her? Probably not.
So while I understand that he's your boyfriend and that means the relationship is bigger than just a friend, it doesn't excuse the fact that he isn't treating you right. By the fact that you made this thread, it shows you aren't happy and need things to change. However, if talking to him isn't fixing anything then there isn't really much else that you can do. Communication is crucial in a relationship, so when it doesn't work its pretty easy for relationships to fail.
I also understand that you don't want to break up with him. That makes perfect sense if you love him and he lives with you. However, you have to take a step back from the feelings and look at the reality of what is going on. Think about what your perfect guy would be like. Would he value smoking pot over loving you? Probably not.
You shouldn't settle for anybody. If there is a major concern in a relationship, its important to address that and move on to find somebody else. If you don't let go of this guy, then you'll never be able to find someone who can make you even happier and who will put you first and won't steal from you.
We can't make you break up with him. However, please try and look at where we're coming from.


And here you are living, despite it all.
Lead Moderator | Disputes Committee | HelpLINK Mentor
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
br.94 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
br.94's Avatar
 
Name: Beth
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 25
Join Date: May 30th 2012

Re: pot.. - November 23rd 2012, 07:10 PM

i see where you all are coming from but hes not just my boyfriend, he is my best friend, and i would give up everything i have for him. i know that he truely loves me. (i have health issues with my kidneys and he said that if he had to he would give me one of his) i just think that he has a lot of suppressed issues that he isnt dealing with and that he uses pot as an escape from them. he has never really told me about any of the issues that he has except that they are from his grandma that raised him. but i also dont think that pot is the answer. yes i like pot myself but i got my priorities straight and my jobcomes first because we are buying a house. his job however doesnt drug test, mine does. he just doesnt understand how it makes me feel when he does it and that it hurts because i know he doesnt need to do it, its wasting money on something that isnt important. and when i try to explain that he gets defensive andd says let me live while im young i want to smoke right now i may not be here in 20 years and i just want to live while i can. but i try to tell him that getting high all the time isnt living thats wasting your life away because you really wont have any good memories with the people you love. insteaad your just pushing me away from you because i dont like it when you smoke. and then we always get into an arguement.


-092610 <3
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Eternal Offline
Lead Moderator

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
Eternal's Avatar
 
Name: Nicole
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: PDX

Posts: 12,425
Join Date: October 14th 2010

Re: pot.. - November 24th 2012, 04:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by br.94 View Post
insteaad your just pushing me away from you because i dont like it when you smoke. and then we always get into an arguement.
This is a bit concerning to me. Its normal for couples to fight, but if its often (which is what it sounds like) then that isn't healthy. I can understand both of your points of view on this, however I do agree with you in that you aren't really living if you're smoking pot all the time.
I also don't doubt that he loves you, however I still think that it might be best to move on. Again, I totally understand this doesn't sound appealing and of course I don't know him, nor do I know what your relationship is like so its easy for me to say that when its hard for you to address it.
My main reasoning is that communication is really important in a relationship. If you aren't on the same page, then its likely you're going to get into disagreements often and you won't have that emotional connection. If there is a problem in your relationship that's causing lots of arguments, then its understandable to classify that as a big problem. And of course, big problems tend to mess up relationships.
The most important thing above all though, is are you currently happy in this relationship? I don't mean are you happy that you're with him, but are you happy with how things are between you two right now. Pretend he's only your best friend. Would you be okay with your current friendship?


And here you are living, despite it all.
Lead Moderator | Disputes Committee | HelpLINK Mentor
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Lizzie Offline
Volunteering Officer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Lizzie's Avatar
 
Name: Lizzie
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 4,700
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: pot.. - November 27th 2012, 03:55 PM

I have to agree with Nicole. This doesn’t sound healthy for either one of you. If he truly loved you, he would be stealing your things and constantly getting into arguments with him. The thing with people like this is that they can almost always continue what they are doing because someone lets them and often the person that is letting them do that is their partner. You put up with him taking your medication, you put up with him smoking pot and you put up with him arguing with you. And I am not saying that it is your fault, I am saying you have the power to stop it by walking away and you don’t. You need to do what is best for you. And it doesn’t sound like you are doing what’s best for you, you sound like you are doing what’s best for him. And that is not true love. True love is sharing happiness with another person, not giving up your happiness for his. I think you have some soul searching to do. You need to figure out why his happiness is more important than your own, because that’s not ok.




Interested in becoming a staff member? Feel free to PM me, or apply HERE!
::Teen Help Member Since 2006::
::Staff Member for ten years::
~Blessed Be~
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
pot

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.