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Jessa95 Offline
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Name: Jessica
Age: 25
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Join Date: August 28th 2012

Unhappy mom drinks too much - February 4th 2013, 02:16 PM

My mom's always been a heavy drinker and never knows when to stop. i keep denying the fact that shes an alcoholic but i dont think theres any other word. She drinks everyday and whenever shes with friends it goes one too far. Ive had to get my friends to carry my own mother, my roll model, my gaurdian, upstairs to her bedroom when she passed out... how humiliating! she gets angry and her and my younger sister, who is extremely affected by it, actually started physically pushing eachother and screaming fuck you at one another. The house was lit up with shouting and when my stepdad tried to help us she got all over him screaming at the top of her lungs. My sister was bawling her eyes out saying she hates her. She resents our mom so much and i do too. Im ashamed and all my friends know becuase she gets drunk around them to. She wrecked christmas and everyone in my entire family got to see the drunk side of her and me and my sis just kept our heads down in shame. That women causing all the comotion? thats my mom.... what do i do?
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Lizzie Offline
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Re: mom drinks too much - February 4th 2013, 06:41 PM

Hey Jessica,

So the thing with any substance addicts is that you can’t force them to get better. I can’t tell you how to get your mother to stop drinking, that is something she has to do on her own. You can try to let her know how you feel, when you think she might be sober enough to listen, but other than that, there isn’t much to say.

I can tell you that I think you should start getting some support, either from a school counselor, or a support group. I am sure if you looked it up you could find an Al-Anon group nearby, which is a support group for those who live with addicts, or those who have an addict in their life. It’s not for everyone, but I suggest you at least give it a chance. Even if you decide not to go regularly, you can always learn something. Perhaps you can take your younger sister with you as well, I am sure she would like support during this tough time as well.

When it comes to any substance addict, you need to remember that no matter what they say, they are saying it because of the substance, not because they really feel that way. I know it’s hard taking care of your own mother, especially when it is her fault for getting herself into this mess. But, if you go to some Al-Anon meetings they can give you some great advice on how to deal with situations like the one you told us about.

You said you were ashamed with how she acted at the Christmas party. But, you can only be ashamed of your own actions, not of others. What she chooses to do, or not do, is up to her. Don’t let her make you feel ashamed, her actions are not your responsibility and no one in your family is going to assume that this is your fault. Because it is not your fault, her drinking is not you, or your sister, or anyone’s fault. Remember that. And remember that we are always here to listen.

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