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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 12th 2009, 07:23 AM

So uhmm hi. Me and my bf got into this huge fight because I'm ruining my life with heroine and I mean yeah okay it's stupid but I can't tell him why I do it. And he's been trying to get me to stop when later on he'll just go home and do it himself. It's a really fucked up thing. The truth is I want to stop but only if he does and he doesn't want to stop though he's on probation and if he's caught with track marks on his arms then he's screwed. And I'll probably get into trouble. I don't think that he realizes how much I care about him and how much I love him and that I don't want to loose him again. He keeps telling me not to blame myself for how he is but I just can't not because I'm sure there's tonnea of stuff that I can do to help him but I just can't think of any. And everytime I try to tell him to stop he just yells at me and then I end up getting hit. We used to be so perfect but now it's all fucked up.


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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 12th 2009, 08:36 AM

you just have to stop. get rid of whatever heroine/other hard drugs you have and find friends to help you out. Try to get your boyfriend to quit with you. You can't control his actions though. Lead by example, if he can't get clean for you, then you deserve somebody who can/is clean for you.
   
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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 12th 2009, 09:47 AM

I don't know if I'm ready to lead by example. I can't not do the drug. It's a lover now. It's like the first time he introduced me to it I got insanely sick and now I get that feeling if I don't do it. I really don't want to have to do this without him. I want him to see how much he's hurting me because I already know how much I'm hurting him. I don't want to hurt him or myself anymore. I want us to go back to the old days when we were perfect.
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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 12th 2009, 01:29 PM

I agree with Allikuja. Lead by example. If you both continue to use heroine you stand to lose a lot, including each other. If he isn't willing to try and get clean with you or for you then you deserve someone better.

This website I found tells you the effects of heroine (both on your emotional and physical health) and what to expect when you quit. (It lists all the withdrawl symptoms, how long it will last, when the worst bouts of withdrawl occur etc.)

If he isn't willing to try to get clean, I suggest you look for a support group, either an official group or just use your friends. It's important to quit heroine, you are young, it's terrible to think of what will happen to you if you continue to use it - especially when you realize that it is the drug that is ruining everything.

http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=240&np=158&id=2112





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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 12th 2009, 02:15 PM

I know it might be hard, but I think you should focus on yourself first.
Try to get yourself off the drug. Then you can worry about helping him get off the drug, because you'll know what it's like to go through giving it up, and you can help him through it.





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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 12th 2009, 05:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bringvivthehorizon View Post
So uhmm hi. Me and my bf got into this huge fight because I'm ruining my life with heroine and I mean yeah okay it's stupid but I can't tell him why I do it. And he's been trying to get me to stop when later on he'll just go home and do it himself. It's a really fucked up thing. The truth is I want to stop but only if he does and he doesn't want to stop though he's on probation and if he's caught with track marks on his arms then he's screwed. And I'll probably get into trouble. I don't think that he realizes how much I care about him and how much I love him and that I don't want to loose him again. He keeps telling me not to blame myself for how he is but I just can't not because I'm sure there's tonnea of stuff that I can do to help him but I just can't think of any. And everytime I try to tell him to stop he just yells at me and then I end up getting hit. We used to be so perfect but now it's all fucked up.


Help?
There's your problem. You're not considering quitting for love or health reasons, you just want to do it if he does it. You may need to go outside the relationship for help here...addiction is ridiculously difficult to overcome, especially when your closest associations are suffering the same addiction and can't give you that solid support you really need. You need to stop making this a conditional agreement between the both of you and individually decide to kick this habit and get help for REAL reasons.


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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 13th 2009, 11:08 PM

Heroin addiction is one of the most difficult addictions to battle.
Some people can't do it. Some people their withdrawals will kill them just as much as the drug will.
Some people never lose the urge their entire life.
But it's possible.
   
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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 13th 2009, 11:42 PM

What kind of hard drugs is he doing? Some things are physically unable to quit without medically detoxing first.
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Re: This thing has ruined us. >.< - January 14th 2009, 04:40 PM

I think you should first think of yourself. You should want to quit for yourself and for the welfare of your life. As others have said, addictions are difficult to overcome. It is difficult, and will take time, but it is possible. You just need to be dedicated to quitting. Relationships come and go, so in my opinion your health is more important. I think for right now you might want to consider focusing on yourself; use your friends, family, and support groups to stay clean. You can't control his actions and won't be able to help him unless he wants the help.
   
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