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Just Found Out Something I Did While Using - February 25th 2016, 12:29 AM

When I was a sophomore in high school, I abused prescription pills and alcohol. Well I was talking to one of my closest friends, I found out that I slept with him when he was trying to get me off the pills. I don't feel violated or anything, just really bloody guilty that I forgot taking my best friend's virginity! I've always wanted him, I just didn't know that I had already been with him. There is so much I don't remember from that time. I was mixing uppers and downers and vodka, and so much of it is a blur. I feel so bad. I slept with my best friend, who was a virgin at the time, and then didn't remember it. I don't begrudge him, I'm actually glad I did, because I can count him as my first and I know for sure I'm not a virgin. (I used to not be sure because I was raped) I just feel so guilty for forgetting. He didn't take advantage of me or anything, I would sleep with him in a heartbeat sober, always have felt that way for him. I just wish I remembered.


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Re: Just Found Out Something I Did While Using - February 25th 2016, 12:57 AM

Hello Jessie,

I am glad that you don't abuse drugs and alcohol anymore, that is a really amazing and difficult thing to overcome.

When you found out, did you and him talk about it together? I've found talking to someone about something (if we did it with them or not) it can help us process our feelings. I am not sure if you expressed that you feel guilty about what happened to him. How would you feel if you expressed that with him?

I am not sure if you see a counselor or addictions counselor about your past drug and alcohol use, it's important to talk to someone about our feelings, even if it's in the past and you are no longer abusing, emotions can be hard to cope with alone.

I am glad that you aren't abusing anymore but remember you aren't alone, we are here for you if you need support.

Take care.


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Re: Just Found Out Something I Did While Using - February 25th 2016, 01:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
Hello Jessie,

I am glad that you don't abuse drugs and alcohol anymore, that is a really amazing and difficult thing to overcome.

When you found out, did you and him talk about it together? I've found talking to someone about something (if we did it with them or not) it can help us process our feelings. I am not sure if you expressed that you feel guilty about what happened to him. How would you feel if you expressed that with him?

I am not sure if you see a counselor or addictions counselor about your past drug and alcohol use, it's important to talk to someone about our feelings, even if it's in the past and you are no longer abusing, emotions can be hard to cope with alone.

I am glad that you aren't abusing anymore but remember you aren't alone, we are here for you if you need support.

Take care.
Yeah, we talked about it. He's the one that told me. He says it's okay that I don't remember, that he understands because he used to drink a lot. It really is in the past, I haven't touched a pill (that I'm not supposed to take, lol I'm on like 3 mental health medications but I take them acc. to the directions.) in two and a half years. It just really shocked me to find out that I had sex with my best friend. But, I'm glad it was him, because I trust him. I'd trust him with anything, obviously since he was the first (and only) person I've been with since I was raped. I just feel like it's not okay to forget something like that.


When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight
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"Hope Of Morning"
   
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