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Tempted - November 28th 2017, 11:36 PM

My dad has had over 10 back surgeries in the last 3 years, and so he has a lot of prescription driving in the house, and many of them are very strong. Over the last few months I haven’t exactly been myself, and have tried finding ways to get happier, but nothing has worked, and I’ve tried so hard. I am so tempted to take one of my dads pills just to see how they make me feel, but I know how highly addictive most of them are. How do I stop myself from taking them?

Last edited by Onism.; November 29th 2017 at 03:19 AM. Reason: You will get more relevant answers here so I moved it :)
   
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Re: Tempted - December 1st 2017, 04:30 AM

Hey there,

You've already taken the first steps to preventing yourself from taking them - you acknowledged the desire, and you reached out for advice about it. That's a very good start.

The thing to remember is that even if taking any of the prescription medication did make you feel better, it would only be very, very temporary. It wouldn't make you more like yourself, and it wouldn't give you real satisfaction or contentment with your life. As you said, they're highly addictive, which means that on some level you know that trying them would likely lead to further problems.

When you say you've tried finding ways to be happier, what exactly have you done? It can be discouraging to try numerous things and have none of them work out, but that doesn't mean that nothing will work. It just means that you haven't found the right thing yet.

If you're comfortable with it, could you perhaps ask your dad to move them or even safely dispose of them if he doesn't need them anymore? If that's not an option, just try to remember that taking them won't make your problems go away - at best it will be a temporary distraction, and at worst it will become another problem that could also make your exciting issues worse. Perhaps you could come up with some things you could do next time you do feel like taking them (for example you could write out your feelings, or go for a walk instead).

I hope this helped a bit, and I hope things get better for you soon.



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Re: Tempted - December 15th 2017, 02:51 AM

I know this is a late reply, and for that, I'm sorry (I've only gotten back on TH in the past couple days).

I'm hoping you've managed to keep yourself away for this long because the best way to "stop yourself from taking them" is to not take that first one. Easier said than done, I know, but I'll get to that. If you take "just one," it very likely won't be "just one." Prescription painkillers are highly addictive, as you know, but it's worse than just that. You'll be stealing from your dad, and eventually, he'll notice that all his pills are gone. Opiates take everything from you, and they are dangerous; it is very easy to overdose and die due to respiratory depression, and that chance drastically increases if you move from painkillers to heroin (it's fairly common) because you never know what that's cut with.

I don't know your story, and I don't know what you've tried to be happy, but I can guarantee you that opiates will NOT give you the happiness you desire. They might make you feel better at first, but the relief is VERY short-lived. Since opiates are so highly addictive, you would become addicted very quickly (1-2 weeks is average; I became addicted to opiates in only a week and a half, taking them only as prescribed after surgery). Once you're addicted, it doesn't feel good anymore. You keep taking them just to prevent withdrawal symptoms. And let me tell you this: withdrawal from opiates is HELL. I had pretty mild symptoms since I never abused them and only took them for the week and a half post-op, and that was an entire week of hell. Day 2 had me wondering what the fuck was wrong with me because I felt like absolute shit (it feels like the flu only worse). Insomnia kept me up night after night. I nearly passed out several times while standing or walking, and I've never passed out in my life. Constant hot sweats and cold sweats, randomly hitting and very intense. I was constantly anxious and extremely suicidal, and all I could think about was my painkillers.

Over two years later, and now the thoughts still fuck with my head. They still tempt me, but I know I can never take them. I know that if I ever give in and abuse them JUST ONCE, I will lose myself and I may not come back from it. Opiates destroy lives. They took someone close to me too, and that person got hooked on another of the worst drugs.

I cannot control your decision, and I don't know where you are now, as I realize a lot of time has passed since you posted this. If you have kept yourself away this long, I recommend that you do everything you can to resist that first time. Make sure you try every single thing to feel happy before giving in. Distract yourself if you have to, at least for the time being. Allow yourself to feel even the shortest glimpses of happiness, hope, or anything else. That's what I had to do. When the cravings were worst for me, I told myself, "play guitar for an hour first, and then decide after if you still want to lose everything." And I played guitar and I felt a little better. Not happy, nowhere near okay, still miserable. But maybe it was worth putting it off another day. There was a day I went for a walk and saw these kids selling lemonade to raise money for some charity their school was donating toward. And they were loving what they were doing, and somehow that gave me the flicker of hope I needed to keep trying for a little while. And that turned into a lot longer.

I suggest putting it off (a day at a time if you have to) while you invest yourself into finding small things that make you feel less bad. You can always make the decision to use, but it's so much harder to get yourself out of addiction (especially opiates) than it is to get yourself into it. Addiction has a very high price to pay, and I hope that you never have to pay it. Seek help if you need to; it's a lot easier to prevent an addiction than to wait until it becomes one.

If you have resorted to painkillers, know that I understand. Know that there is hope for recovery and that you don't have to stay where you are. If this is where you are, it is best to physically take care of yourself as best as you can to reduce the harm and try to quit before this spirals out of control. There are resources available for you when you are ready to quit.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more. I wish you the best, and wherever you are, I hope you are safe.


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
   
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