TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts


Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Substance Use Whether you are combating substance abuse, are in search support, or have questions about drugs or alcohol, ask in this forum.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Calaer Offline
I have the Millennium Puzzle

I can't get enough
*********
 
Calaer's Avatar
 
Name: Lawson
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Moria (Khazad-dŻm)

Posts: 2,430
Join Date: March 20th 2013

He really needs help. - December 4th 2017, 04:30 AM

The past year or two I've rekindled my relationship with my father. However, some very grim things have come to light since. My father is an alcoholic. I never realized how bad it was. Growing up I knew my dad drank a lot, but as a child, I never really understood. I've been at my dad's house as early as 9am and he is drunk by noon. I know he has been to the doctor, and he was having problems with his liver. Also, I think it's really starting to affect his memory. I can tell him something, and about 15 minutes later, he will totally forget everything I've said, and I'll have to repeat it. He will even go out in to public drunk, and I'm so worried that he will get arrested one of these days. I've even caught him trying to drink in the car while I'm driving him around. (Driving with an open container is illegal, even if the driver isn't drinking.)

I've been wanting to talk to him about it, but I'm worried that he will take it the wrong way, or that he will become offended. I know that this is an actual problem. I'm not mad at my dad, I'm worried. I truly don't want anything to happen to him, and I want him to be around to see Ava grow, and I want him to know how much we love him. I'm willing to do anything it takes to help him, but I'm not really sure what I could do.

I'm just not sure what I could or would do. Any advice would be great! Thanks.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

  Send a message via Skype™ to Calaer 
Reply With Quote
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
HelpLINK Mentor

Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Golfing girl's Avatar
 
Name: Emma
Age: 16
Gender: Female

Posts: 703
Join Date: March 6th 2017

Re: He really needs help. - December 4th 2017, 08:10 PM

Hello,
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now. When something like this is going on it's hard to deal with by yourself and you don't know what to do and I'm so sorry you are going through this right now.
Do you have any other family members or friends that you can talk to about this and have them help you out? Also try to google therapist and see who is in you're area and see if you can talk with them about you're father. Also some of them can make house calls too if you're father doesn't want to go out and talk with someone. You can try and have him go and talk, but if he doesn't want to, call them and ask what they can do for you and you're father. Also you can write a letter to him and letting him know that this is upsetting you and you would like to know if he will go and get some help with this.
I hope that you will be ok soon. I wish you the best.
Lots of hugs.
   
Reply With Quote
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Outside, huh?
**********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Wales

Posts: 4,088
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: He really needs help. - December 7th 2017, 12:56 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your father's alcoholism. I think it's worth trying to talk to him about it. I understand the fear of him getting offended though since he may not realise his drinking has become a problem or he may be in denial. Often with alcoholism, there are other issues beneath the surface and maybe the alcohol helped to forget about them, though at the expense of becoming an alcoholic.

If you do decide to talk to your father, I think you should say what you have here. You want him to be around for Ava and to see her grow up, and that you love him, but it's hurting both you and him to see the effects of how much he drinks. You could try researching for alcoholics anonymous or 12 step groups in your area and offer to go with him to get him signed up. Or go with him when he has a doctors appointment and perhaps ask about what help they might be able to provide.

Unfortunately though, you can only do so much and it really is your father's choice whether to get help for his drinking or not. If he doesn't get help, it's not that he is weak, doesn't care or love you or Ava, it's more likely that it's just the alcohol affecting him.


HelpLINK Mentor ~HelpLINK Moderator~Forum Moderator ~Live Help access
Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3

   
Reply With Quote
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
~Abibliophobe~ Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
~Abibliophobe~'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 11,305
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: He really needs help. - December 7th 2017, 02:56 PM

Hey there,

I agree that you should talk to him and tell him all that you said here. It is very possible that he will get defensive. I think that most people get a tad bit defensive when they are confronted with something like this. That being said, talking to him about it might open his eyes to the fact that there is something going on and he might need to seek help. Even if talking to him doesn't really lead to him seeking out help, it might help you feel better because you will get to express your concerns.

It is important to note that you can't really help him unless he wants to help himself. You can provide him with support while he figures out what he wants to do and you can provide him with support if he chooses to seek help. I know with some of the people in my family who have had dependency problems, this was one of the things I struggled with. I wanted to help them but they weren't ready for that help so there wasn't a whole lot I can do.

I am wishing you the best of luck.



Do you love books or are you having trouble finding books to read? Come check out my blog where I will discuss all things books:
https://abibliophobe1989.wordpress.com/blog/
If you like what you see please follow!

   
Reply With Quote
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
The screwdriverneedsgas!
I've been here a while
********
 
Green Yoshi's Avatar
 
Name: carwithnogas
Gender: Male
Location: Cute Dinosaur Island!

Posts: 1,722
Join Date: January 13th 2011

Re: He really needs help. - December 8th 2017, 06:33 AM

Talk to him about it, and be harsh with him if you have to.. after all alcohol never brings fortune for families if consumed too much, too often. Try to also find disaster stories online regarding alcoholism in families , and then let him know about it..it might scare him off the habit.

Much kindness and love,
Darren


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
Reply With Quote
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Remedial Diary

I can't get enough
*********
 
WretatsyRemedial's Avatar
 
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Canada, Ontario

Posts: 2,322
Join Date: December 29th 2011

Re: He really needs help. - December 8th 2017, 06:23 PM

Hey there,

I can understand why you are so worried about your dad and his drinking. You have valid concerns and reasons why you are worried.

He might not be aware that he has a problem with drinking or that it is causing some issues in his own life (liver issues and memory) but it does have an impact on others around him. He has been drinking like this for a long time, you mentioned, when you were a child he drank, so this is a longer term drinking problem he has.

You mentioned you really care about him, that you want him to be interactive with Ava and how much she grows. When you talk to your dad, you can always bring this up with him. Explain your worries, concerns, what you want your dad to be apart of your life and Ava's. Sometimes, if addictions continue and they aren't listening, at times an intervention can be away to help. If you feel an intervention would be best, talk to someone who is trained in it, or you can also talk to someone who is trained in alcoholism to see what they could suggest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Yoshi View Post
Talk to him about it, and be harsh with him if you have to.. after all alcohol never brings fortune for families if consumed too much, too often. Try to also find disaster stories online regarding alcoholism in families , and then let him know about it..it might scare him off the habit.

Much kindness and love,
Darren
Darren, I really don't feel this is an effective method that would turn out with it being positive. In some cases, it could work, but I don't feel it would for the user to scare her dad like this.

Lawson, if it is possible, if you aren't 100% sure how to handle this you could benefit contacting your local alcoholism support group, Alcohol Annouymous, or talk to his doctor about your worries and if there is a plan you and them could do. Doing this alone can be hard, so try to reach out to local supports in your community.

Let us know if you need anything else, we are all here for you.


Article Editor - Mind and Body | Join the Artcles Team
Newsletter Editor | Chat Mod
Forum Mod - Substance Use, Lifestyle, Current Events and Debates

   
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2017, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.