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swimmer92 Offline
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Grrrr. - July 5th 2009, 06:15 AM

Almost 6 months sober and I blew it... I feel horrible. I was so close, only a few more days. But no life had to screw me over and I wasnt able to deal with it. I am weak and im a failure.


Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

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Re: Grrrr. - July 5th 2009, 02:10 PM

Hey KP (:

I'm so proud of you for making it 6 months sober. Just because you had one slip up it doesn't take away from what a big accomplishment that is. Unfortunately, people can be real jerks sometimes but there are better ways to deal with stress than taking drugs or drinking. I think it would be a good idea for you to have a plan in place for next time you have the urge to use. Some suggestions would be talking with a friend, writing down your feelings in a journal, calling a hotline, listening to music, exercising, or any other healthy alternative you can think of. It will be difficult to make the decision to choose a healthier alternative but you can find comfort in reminding yourself that you are making a positive choice for your life and your future. While it may feel like using drugs or alcohol helps you cope with your problems it really just creates bigger problems for you down the road. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me. You don't have to go through this alone. Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: Grrrr. - July 5th 2009, 09:44 PM

I am trying really hard to fight the urge, but it never goes away, no matter what I do I can never stop thinking about it. And no matter what alternative I try I never stop thinking about the people who have hurt me and the only way to take that pain away is to drink or get high


Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

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Re: Grrrr. - July 5th 2009, 11:14 PM

The urge won't go away overnight but it can decrease over time. 6 months of soberity is HUGE progress and I have full confidence you can go another 6 months.

Unfortunately, a part of life is being hurt. It happens to everyone and it happens more than once. The best thing you can do for yourself is let go of everything that has happened in the past. People may have hurt you but that's no reason to hurt yourself. If people are hurting you now, you don't have to keep them around you.

If you can, perhaps consider getting involved in a support group or finding another person to go along this with you. Having people there to keep you focused can definitely help.
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Re: Grrrr. - July 7th 2009, 12:56 AM

You're human. So you screwed up. Who said sobering up was easy anyway? It's not a big deal and now that you know how important your sobriety is to you, you need to pick yourself back up and move on.
   
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Re: Grrrr. - July 7th 2009, 05:13 AM

Six months sober is really good and everyone back slides at least once in the recovery process.

What were you addicted to anyway?
   
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Re: Grrrr. - July 7th 2009, 08:39 PM

Congrats on the six months of sobriety.

I wish there was a secret that I could tell you that would make it all better, butthere isn't. I'm sorry to be blunt. But you shouldn't beat yourself up over it, no one said that it would be easy and it won't be easy. You can't always let the smallest of things get to you. I understand that you are probably frustrated and dissapointed in yourself butthat should only push you to beat your six months and to make that six months look like a walk inthe park...turn that six months into forever and then you know that you've done it. It's no biggie, it's just a slip, 'we all fall off of the the wagon sometimes it's not your whole life, it's only one day and you haven't thrown everything away' (- Sixx AM) Well I am very proud of you for your six months, that is a great accomplishment. But I know that you can keep going strong and push through this whole thing. You don't have to dwell on it and you shouldn't.



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Re: Grrrr. - July 9th 2009, 01:54 AM

KP,

Six months is an amazing accomplishment. Just because you had a mishap, doesn't mean everything is erased up to that point. People never expect anyone to never slip up. We're all human, it's in our nature. The good thing about this is that you're trying and you can continue trying. That's the hardest thing - to keep trying even after a mishap. You can do this and you can keep going. You got 6 months and now try for 7. Another good thing is you can begin counting up once more. Or count a different way. 6 months and only one mishap. 7 months isn't far behind. This is a chance to build yourself up, not down. Cutting yourself down will only make continuing harder. You never fail, so long as you keep going. Don't give up and something really good will come out of all this effort. Remember that. You're certainly not weak. It takes someone super strong to even begin the journey to quit an addiction. You took the journey and went 6 whole months. That's 24 weeks, 168 days and 4 032 hours! The number just increases. Each minute is a victory. Think of it that way. :]


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