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deaadbeaat Offline
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Name: Liz
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania

Posts: 28
Join Date: June 10th 2009

I want it back... - July 26th 2009, 09:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've had an addiction to Oxycontin, valium, and xanax for about two years now.
Oxycontin being my main drug of choice.

I ended up getting caught this year from blacking out and going non-responsive during school hours. I was admitted to the hospital, taken to a psychiatric hospital, kicked out of school, put through rehab, and now started a three month probation.
Drugs destroyed my life.

But, I want some badly.
I've been sober for about a week from weed and about two months from prescription drugs.
But, I'm in so much pain. My chest hurts and nothing takes the pain away like they do...

I apparently got a hook up for some yesterday as I was talking to some person I met at the mall.
One more drug dealer in my phone full of them...

I need to stay sober though..
I fuck up this and I'm facing a detention center because of my age.
I can't keep doing this when school comes around, but I have grown to need them to get by.
I'm not calm when I'm not on them. I'm not the same person; I'm angrier, emotional, horrible, and disgusting when I'm sober.
I snort them and every problem goes away.
I still have all the tools from the heavy months of use..
The straw, the foil, the lighter, the dollar I used the whole two years of use..
They're my medication at this point. They keep me from killing myself.

I never thought that my drug problems would follow me this far in my life... They fucked up my whole life. I wish I never started. I was stupid. But, I'm still craving them now. I can't go back and tell my ex-boyfriend about how stupid drugs are and never take them from him.

I can't stop the urges though...
I'm about to give in and call.
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drowningangel Offline
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Name: Kathy
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern USA

Posts: 620
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I want it back... - July 27th 2009, 01:41 AM

I think you should consider calling a drug addiction hotline instead of your drug dealer. Dial the phone for you to talk to someone who can help you and is concerned about your well being than the cash in their pocket. These hotlines are toll free and anonymous.


You are not alone in fighting urges. Whether they be self injury, drugs, alcohol, there are alot of teenagers here on TeenHelp who know the feeling of fighting urges and cravings for whatever the addiction happens to be. The chat room and forums are always open. You can always use HelpLINK if you want to have some more replies specifically from our staff (Mentors).

Married since 28 June 2009 to my DevilDog


"Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same."
- Emily Bronte
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