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Help, Children of Alcoholics - September 17th 2009, 05:13 PM

Hi....

My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile now, and have always been very close. However, his mom has a drinking problem. It's affected our relationship before (she verbally attacked me while drunk once) and brought us both closer and caused some arguments. I try my best to be understanding, but I don't know to relate. In our relationship, he's truly opened up to me about it about twice. Other times, he just acts apathetic to the whole thing or doesn't want talk about it at all. His family is very private and proud and isn't consistent with the whole issue; sometimes they acknowledge it, most of the time they don't. As a result, I can't talk to anyone about it. We live away from home now, but I know it still affects him.

I have no idea how he's feeling about it, or what he needs me to do in order to be supportive as possible. I don't want to push him into talking about it, as he just becomes upset and I have no idea how to help anyway. Please, if anyone has grown up with a problem drinker, can you give me some insight into what he needs or how he's feeling?
   
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Re: Help, Children of Alcoholics - September 17th 2009, 08:32 PM

As a daughter of an alcoholic, generally, I just felt scared.

Like I never knew when my dad would get drunk and attack me again or something like that.

It's not a good experience. In general I found myself not wanting to talk about it, as it would make me think of all the things that have happened while he was drunk.

It's important that when you talk about it, he brings it up. If he brings it up it means he wants to talk about it. Most of the time though, I found it was a subject I'd much rather avoid.

It's a feeling of lack of respect for someone you should adore, and more likely than not, most children of alcoholics feel guilty for that reason.

Hope I helped here, feel free to PM me with any questions
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