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Substance Use Whether you are combating substance abuse, are in search support, or have questions about drugs or alcohol, ask in this forum.

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Question The point im trying to get across to her - October 25th 2009, 08:11 PM

Well my friend she does weed,and smokes ciggerates and drinks.Its not the weed i have a problem with,the point im trying to get to her is that all of this stuff will not resolve her problems like she thinks,this isnt a perminet solution.She needs to actually resolve her problems instead of ignoring then and trying to fix them with getting high,smoking ciggarets, and drinking.At least stop the last to cause ther not legal for our age were we live.Plus im worried shes going to start getting into bad kinds of drugs instead of weed....does this make sense or am i being silliy???????


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Re: The point im trying to get across to her - October 26th 2009, 08:26 AM

this makes perfect sense. you are worried about ur friend.
Chances are she is running away from her problems and maybe talking to her about it wil help, just dont try lecture her or you will get nowhere. But the other thing is, this is a really experimental time of our lives when we are teens and a bit of smoking, drinking and drugs shouldnt do too much harm as long as its not excessive.
   
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Re: The point im trying to get across to her - October 26th 2009, 12:03 PM

Yep, it makes a lot of sense and, sadly, she's just one of thousands of teens who deal with problems this way... It's not healthy. Keep talking to her and supporting her. Keep trying to get through to her and eventually she'll see the harm. It happened with my bestfriend while we were teens in highschool.


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Re: The point im trying to get across to her - October 29th 2009, 08:21 AM

Shes scared, of herself of her life. Substance is her escape.
she feels like there isnt any other way to deal and being high takes the edge off life.
i used to be like that until i had someone straight up tell me that i'm being a chicken and that running and hiding behind substance is weakness. i would suggest (in a much more nicer fashion) do the same, but make sure its clear to her that you want to help and that your gonna stand by her till the end. invite her to a group therapy thing and if shes the type to say no to help then ask her to come with you to one because you need her there for support. give her the hard facts as to what the things she putting into her body is doing to her, and let her know that intime everything she is hiding from is gonna come crashing back to her 10 times harder and that if she really wants to feel better about herself and her life then dealing with the issues is alot easier plus cheaper. Its gonna be really really hard for her not having substance to support her and shes gonna need something different to rely on when things get tough. be her drug, let her rely on you when things are bad. and make sure she knows that no matter what she says or does you wont judge her or hurt her.
   
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Re: The point im trying to get across to her - October 30th 2009, 04:43 AM

Abusing substances as a means of suppressing or dealing with whatever the causes of one's distress are is quite common. It's great that you wish to help her, however, don't lecture her or tell her that she must quit or that it's illegal or harmful for her. Chances are, she knows it's illegal and harmful to her but continues to use it because it's a means of temporary escape from whatever the causes of the distress are.

Perhaps you could try to address the causes if you know what they might be or simply try to give her support while ignoring her substance abuse. If you nag her about her substance abuse, then you're essentially telling her to find another means of coping although to her, the substance abuse is the best one or the only way she may think she has. Let her have the route because although it's not healthy nor legal, if you're going to confront her about the actual causes, she's going to be very stressed and if you take away her only coping method, then she's going to spiral down leading to a big mess.
   
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