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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ShAtTerEd HeaRt Offline
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Unhappy drank wine tonight - December 11th 2009, 11:47 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I dont know. i just wanted to try it out. i wanted to see what it was like to actullay drink it, but on top of that i was depressed too. i felt like i needed to take the pain away, im so lost and everything.
so i went into the kitchen, got in the fridge where my parents keep their wine stash. i grabbed a cup quickly from the dishwasher while my dad was upstairs working and unscrewed the lid and poured some into the cup.
i took one drink from the cup. which was like only a little bit. more like hardly anything at all, it was not what i exspected. it tasted NASTY. haha anyway i was gonna spit it out in the sink but then i just swallowed it.
my chest was burning so i drank milk with it and that stoped.
but it was hardly anything and I felt almost instantly tired and relazed and had trouble walking a bit. and i drank hardly anything. problem is, I feel addicted now a bit, and i dont feel really that sad anymore. its like im almost completly numbed up in my chest. god i feel like such an idiot.
i feel like i kinda wanna cry too, i feel so lost. i think its mainly becuz my parents r fighting, 2. my depression sky rockets in the winter big time since theirs no sun 3. my boyfriend dumped me becuz his parents wouldnt let me and him see eachother. im trying to figure out if hes even a good guy for me for not since he told me to shutup for no reason, and im pretty sure he almost said your being a bitch but he caught himself in time and said he was being mean. i thought "well, at least he knows hes being mean" but still, im dumb at all. i know what he was about to say. and it hurts me very badly. i just dont know what to do anymore. i did inhalantses 2 nights ago and when i came to my friend for help she said i was just showing off for my last boyfriend and im only doing it becuz hes into drugs too. (not like heavy drugs) anyway, it hurt me becuz first of all i know its not becuz of him doing drugs that im starting to do drugs, its just becuz im hurt and i need help.
any advise please? i really wud hate to fall into this stuff ):


Met you from a tie between u and me buddy,
Saw you from my wired eyes with a twisted little lie, and my mind told me negative when i had a wish to own you with my heart, buddy and you split like twigs, senses told her i fell for him, and she told me "i loved him, and go get him" And while i said "negative he said "correct" <3


Me and ? = 3 days which =correct
   
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Re: drank wine tonight - December 12th 2009, 02:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShAtTerEd HeaRt View Post
so i went into the kitchen, got in the fridge where my parents keep their wine stash. i grabbed a cup quickly from the dishwasher while my dad was upstairs working and unscrewed the lid and poured some into the cup.
i took one drink from the cup. which was like only a little bit. more like hardly anything at all, it was not what i exspected. it tasted NASTY. haha anyway i was gonna spit it out in the sink but then i just swallowed it.
my chest was burning so i drank milk with it and that stoped.
but it was hardly anything and I felt almost instantly tired and relazed and had trouble walking a bit. and i drank hardly anything. problem is, I feel addicted now a bit, and i dont feel really that sad anymore. its like im almost completly numbed up in my chest. god i feel like such an idiot.
The burning was due to the alcohol content in it, especially if you have not had much of it or have a particular sensitivity to alcohol. You're not addicted to alcohol just after having one sip of it (I'm assuming you haven't had any alcoholic beverages before). I would suppose you're probably sensitive to the amount of alcohol and that's it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShAtTerEd HeaRt View Post
2. my depression sky rockets in the winter big time since theirs no sun
It's called Seasonal Affective Depressive Disorder (SADD). The main treatment for it is light, especially a certain type of photocell lamp.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShAtTerEd HeaRt View Post
3. my boyfriend dumped me becuz his parents wouldnt let me and him see eachother. im trying to figure out if hes even a good guy for me for not since he told me to shutup for no reason, and im pretty sure he almost said your being a bitch but he caught himself in time and said he was being mean. i thought "well, at least he knows hes being mean" but still, im dumb at all. i know what he was about to say. and it hurts me very badly.
I don't know what the situation was between you two but people sometimes get pissed off and if you're in a relationship, you should expect that at times, there's going to be some tension. It doesn't matter who caused it, if it's a minor thing then let it go. He probably cares enough about you to not fully say what he was going to say. Move on from the tension.

You mentioned his parents interfered and this part sounds like something for another part of the forum, not for the substance abuse part.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShAtTerEd HeaRt View Post
i just dont know what to do anymore. i did inhalantses 2 nights ago and when i came to my friend for help she said i was just showing off for my last boyfriend and im only doing it becuz hes into drugs too. (not like heavy drugs) anyway, it hurt me becuz first of all i know its not becuz of him doing drugs that im starting to do drugs, its just becuz im hurt and i need help.
Then try to ask for help but understand that if she realized that you needed help desperately, she has herself to deal with first before she can help out someone else. If you wish for help, then ask on here if you want.
   
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Re: drank wine tonight - December 12th 2009, 02:55 AM

Okay i told 1 of my friends and oh my god im so scared! i trust her cuz ive known her for almost 4 years but still, its scaring me that shes gonna tell her mom then the police is gonna come to our house and ill be in huge trouble ):
I DONT WANT THAT! I ONLY TOOK A SIP! im just scared shes gonna tell! the only person i wud feel most safe with is my previous boyfriend since hes drank before too
and i really doubt hes gonna ever tell anybody but still, im scared.


Met you from a tie between u and me buddy,
Saw you from my wired eyes with a twisted little lie, and my mind told me negative when i had a wish to own you with my heart, buddy and you split like twigs, senses told her i fell for him, and she told me "i loved him, and go get him" And while i said "negative he said "correct" <3


Me and ? = 3 days which =correct
   
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Re: drank wine tonight - December 12th 2009, 07:45 AM

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Originally Posted by ShAtTerEd HeaRt View Post
Okay i told 1 of my friends and oh my god im so scared! i trust her cuz ive known her for almost 4 years but still, its scaring me that shes gonna tell her mom then the police is gonna come to our house and ill be in huge trouble ):
I DONT WANT THAT! I ONLY TOOK A SIP! im just scared shes gonna tell! the only person i wud feel most safe with is my previous boyfriend since hes drank before too
and i really doubt hes gonna ever tell anybody but still, im scared.
Underage drinking, although illegal, is something that is very common. I doubt that you'll be arrested, unless you've had prior substance abuse issues with alcohol, other illegal drugs, etc... . Most likely what will happen if the police even come over is a warning or extrajudicial involvement because they need the courts for more important things than a mere sip of wine. So I wouldn't worry about that if I were you.
   
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Re: drank wine tonight - December 12th 2009, 08:59 PM

i think that the reason you dont feel sad is because you tried something you have never had before (wine), one glass of wine probably would not be enough of an affect to ease depression. it was probably placebo because one glass of wine doesnt make me feel any different at all. Alcohol doesnt take away depression (although it does take away anxiety). I think you should smoke pot, it would more efficiently take away depression because it releases more endorphins that make you feel good.


for the winter depression , you could buy happy lamps or bright lights. buy 500w halogen bulbs and buy some lamps that are meant to simulate daylight to ease depression. type in happy lamp into google.

Last edited by michaell; December 12th 2009 at 09:05 PM.
   
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Re: drank wine tonight - December 12th 2009, 11:14 PM

Ok first off the effects you felt, maybe the numbing was real, but addiction I very much doubt it, not a serious one anyways it'll be simply you wanting to feel that again, more curiosity. Personally I'd think most of it was placebo effect, if you didn't have much, but can go to your head change your body, but with young people we have tough bodies most of us, you'll be fine, and if you did feel anything it'll wear off soon enough...

When I started drinking I thought I'd felt the effects of alcohol, then you really start , I remember I always used too fall over, but it wasn't alcohol doing that, although I didn't do it for attention, I don't recommend you do it, but its when you can't stand up, and when you wake u the next day and wonder what the hell happened after you began drinking...

As for police, very very unlikely they'll do everything . At most, it'll be your parents who'll give you a telling off, but then they're to blame if the police get involved as they left it within your reach!

Honestly though, just don't drink you won't get addicted, I know everyones different, but I used to drink daily, for about 2 weeks, like strong strong spirits, you'll be fine Just forget it and have fun

To be honest well done for having a go, its not true of everything, but somethings I think its good to try, you don't know what your missing otherwise!



How can one love themselves, when they love absolutely nothing?
Do something that is interesting. If it is not interesting, find out why it is not interesting.
   
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Re: drank wine tonight - December 12th 2009, 11:59 PM

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Originally Posted by michaelme47 View Post
I think you should smoke pot, it would more efficiently take away depression because it releases more endorphins that make you feel good.
LOL! Encouraging illegal drug use, there's a good suggestion... . As for the mechanism of action, it's far more complicated than merely releasing endorphins (along with enkalphins, dynorphins, etc...). For example, there are endocannabinoids, which are released and cause various behavior effects. There's also the release of DA (which can affect the release of 5-HT). Much more than merely one class of molecules being responsible. Look up the research next time you attempt to explain something.
   
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