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$Kelly2DaB$ Offline
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Name: Kelly
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Unhappy guilty and a sickness =[ - January 28th 2009, 11:45 AM

okay so im having a bit of an issue.

the first time i truely got "wasted" i puked. okay this part is gonna get a lil confusing so read carefully. my friend is a boy. his sister has a friend. his sister's friend has a boyfriend. so the boyfriend knew some guys from another town that came over.

while my head was buried in a bucket oblivious to the world, things happened. my fone got stolen, and bunch of shit got lifted and at one ppoint, my best friend told me some guys tried grabbing up her shorts.
i told my friend before the party and ive always told her that i got her back, and i would protect her and never let anyhting bad happen to her. i always got her back.

and i feel so guilty. she tells me not to cuz things didnt happen and shes safe. but im such an idiot and an asshole. i dont like goin back on my word. i was there to protect her and bc i got too drunk and selfish, bad things could have happened. i feel like such a shit friend, and to this day, i still feel guilty. (this happene din august 08) i cant get over it. i want to be there and be the friend she deserves.

my guilt and problem gets worst.

parties after that, i tried to make up for. the party follwoing the bad one, i was there for her, and i tried the best i could. well from then on til now, ive gotten either drunk or tipsy or whatever. and thats not good. granted the parties that ive been too since august one has been a friends house that i trust and wouldnt let anything happen to her or whatever the case is. and idk, i think one of the main reasons why i drink is because i can be a different person.

sure kelly2dab is awesome and funny and a lot of people love, but when im drunk i guess i can be even funnier and if i do something stupid, i can sort of be forgiven easier. thats not a good way of looking at things but its how i feel. and i love to have a good time and it helps me relax at parties. cuz in real life, i can be very shy.

i dont know what to do and i feel like im shitty friend when i pick up a can or bottle at a party


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mr_null Offline
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Re: guilty and a sickness =[ - January 28th 2009, 03:46 PM

If you don't want to go back on your word and you really feel that shitty then stop drinking when you're with her at parties. If she's fine with you getting drunk and understands that when you're drunk you won't necessarily be able to look after her then I wouldn't feel bad, it's not like she's going to be able to watch your back if she's also getting drunk.
   
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