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BlurrySunset Offline
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Name: Meg
Age: 27
Gender: Female

Posts: 152
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Join Date: February 15th 2009

Annoyed with myself.. - January 13th 2010, 01:00 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I bought a couple oxycodone pills today.

As a little back story, I was addicted to oxycodone and vicodin for 5 years, as well as using some other heavy drugs. I've been doing pretty well for the past couple months. But today I was presented with the opportunity, and it makes me angry how easily I slipped.

I have about a million excuses swimming around in my mind right now. Foremost being that I actually do have a disability that causes me a lot of pain, which is why I started using in the first place. Ugh. I haven't taken them yet, but I have very little to stop me right now.


I lost myself in the space between heaven and hell.
...where do we go from here?

R.I.P. Sarah; 1991-2009
Kacy; 1992-2009
I'll never forget.

Two months clean and sober.
Seven months since last cut.
Still struggling and surviving.

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Synaestheasiaen Offline
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Re: Annoyed with myself.. - January 13th 2010, 03:35 AM

I, like you have had a major issue in the past with the same opiates. I know what you're going through and honestly, don't be annoyed or disappointed in yourself. You're very brave for staying clean that long and relapse is almost always inevitable for a recovering addict. Hell if my dad hadn't flushed all his prescripts down the toilet 2 years back, I have no clue where i'd be now. My advice to you about your pain though is to see your doctor and see if there's anything you can have that isn't habit forming. I know of some meds out there that don't carry that risk. Stay strong You're doing great.
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