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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
KoKoEm Offline
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How to Figure This Out... - February 16th 2009, 02:56 AM

Well, maybe I'm trusting too much in what my cousin told me. Or maybe what I'm thinking is true and I have full reason to be scared. I have no clue.
However, I'm afraid that my mom might be (not only a total alcoholic) doing pot. I have no clue. I think I found a joint in the bathroom... Maybe a year ago? I'm not quite sure how long ago, but the point is that I think I found one in there.
My cousin told me one day that he thought he smelled marijuana on them both. And I know that he's done it before and been around people doing it, so I really kind of trust his judgment on this, probably more than I should. Of course, he also has a sister who did almost every kind of drug and would probably know from that too.
My fear has grown a lot lately. On most Thursdays, I have a visiting time of a few hours. Then I have to be taken home since I cannot yet drive by mom and her boyfriend at 8PM. The last time, I was freaking out but trying to seem like I was calmly listening to music. I was freaking out that a policeman would make us pull over and find out they are totally drunk and possibly also high. I was scared of what would happen to them (for some reason) and also me. Once I was back at my dads I was nearly calm, but still freaked that I'd be told they'd gotten caught by the police or in an accident until about an hour when I hadn't heard anything and figured it was all fine.
Anyways, the main problem is that I'm unsure of what to do. My parents are divorced and I get along much better with my dad than with my mom, but I don't know if he'd do anything about any of it because I just have to get through one more year and I'm done with having to deal with her.
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Re: How to Figure This Out... - February 16th 2009, 07:11 AM

Hey-

So I'm a bit confused about your situation. So you have visiting time at your mom's house, and she drives you back to your dad's where you stay regularly?

I'm going to go off that. =)
Was your mom really drunk when she was driving you back? If so, you shouldn't be getting in the car with her. Or if you think she might be high. If she is under the influence of any drugs or alcohol, it's not safe for you, her, or her boyfriend. Then you need to have a plan for what to do if this is really the case.

I would talk to your father about it. See what he thinks. Does he know your mom is an alcoholic? If not, he needs to know.

It's hard being in between that though, deciding who to tell, what to tell. But my best advice, is pick one person you trust, who in this case, though I don't know your whole story, would be your dad. And tell that person everything. It's your dad's responsibility to help you out and help you deal with situations like this.

Good luck!
Maria.



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Re: How to Figure This Out... - February 16th 2009, 07:31 PM

At the end of the day, your Mum is a responsible adult.

You would be surprised by the amount of people who take marijuana, especially the older generation. It's good for a wind down, especially when times are tough.

If you're really concerned that she may be abusing the drug A LOT then perhaps bring it up in conversation or try to find out more about her usage. If she is driving you home drunk then that is extremely inappropriate and you should not be getting into a car with her when she is intoxicated, nor should she even consider having you in the car with her at a time like that.
   
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Re: How to Figure This Out... - February 19th 2009, 02:21 AM

Regardless of anything, if you are certain that your mom is an alcoholic and/or drinking and driving, she needs to be confronted, simply because it's very possible that it will ultimately catch up to her. How you accomplish this is up to you and a whole other topic.

If you are against the use of marijuana, then I'm afraid there's not much you can do to stop her without giving her an ultimatum(stop smoking or never talk to me again). Personally, I would definitely not suggest doing this. Everybody has their own opinions and values on things(especially on topics like drugs) and close-mindedness isn't very good. Just because the government says it is wrong, doesn't mean it always is. On the other hand, she is your mother and it's her responsibility to be a mother and if her substance use gets in the way of that some adjustments should be made.

In short, it's about what you want, not what we think you should do. You know her better than we do, obviously, and we don't really know you.

Sorry, if I'm not very blatantly helpful, but if you take some time to figure out what you want to do, it will probably turn out much better for you in the end.


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