"Out of control"

[Gymnophoria]

Never thought I'd ever have to post in here. But here goes.

My friend came to me tonight, really upset about her friend. Ehh I don't want to use their names. We'll call my friend Kitty, her boyfriend Jason and her friend Charli.

So Kitty came to me freaking out a few days ago because Charli seemed to be going after Jason. Which had her really upset. And from what she said, it was pretty obvious that Charli was being pretty inappropriate. So we talked for a while and she left. This was on Tuesday.
She came back to me tonight, really upset, because she yelled at Charli to stay away from her boyfriend or they couldn't be friends anymore. Now Charli's started taking drugs and sleeping around. I don't know how long the drugs and sleeping around has been going on but it seems to have been a while, it just got really out of control after Kitty yelled at her.

Kitty and all of her friends have tried to talk to Charli but she doesn't listen, she just lies to them and keeps going the way she's going. One of them was trying to show she really cared and Charli just threw it right back at her.
From what Kitty has said, adults aren't an option (parents, school etc.) because Charli has threatened to tell them about Jason (internet boyfriend, Kitty has strict parents, you can see where it's going. She doesn't want to lose him. Understandable.)
I suggested getting another friend to tell the school so that Charli has no reason to bring Jason into it, but it seems everyone else has given up on her. I also suggested an anonymous letter but she kind of ignored that suggestion.

So I'm asking you guys. Charli doesn't have internet so she can't get on here like I suggested.
They all live in Pennsylvania so NHS isn't an option, she'd have to pay to see a doctor and in any case, I'm not sure they could convince her to.

Any ideas from you guys?
Thanks in advance, anything we can get here helps.

[Chazzz]

It's certainly an awkward situation. Charli is her own person and as self destructive as her actions are from what you've told me, it doesn't seem as if she is responding to any help that her friends are trying to supply and that can get extremely frustrating for her friends I imagine. Most people, after a while would walk away.

If Kitty is genuinely concerned about Charli then the best thing she can do is simply provide her support, and not abandon her. It's a very hard thing to do when someone keeps pushing you back, but if everybody just walked away when the going got tough, none of us would get anywhere, would we. Charli is going to need to know that she has friends that are behind her, not against her. Her friends need to start showing concern, and providing possible solutions instead of just demanding or, suggesting that she stop. It's very easy to let yourself get out of control so you need a good couple of friends as your anchor.

If everyone turns her back on her, she's going to feel very trapped in the position that she has gotten herself into because she hasn't got anywhere to turn back to.

But then Kitty also has to realise, that she can only do so much... She can be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to shout at but if Charli cannot help herself, then there's not a lot more Kitty can do and she should, under no circumstance feel bad about that. It takes a lot in a person to support somebody like this, whether it has the desired effect or not, at least she has tried.

If it starts effecting Kitty emotionally, mentally, etc. Then she should walk away. You should never let it drag you down too, otherwise you both find yourself in a big hole and you're just bouncing off of each other, not helping at all.

I think the anonymous letter is a great idea, if she is actually causing great harm to herself. If she's just kind of a, teenager having fun thennn, perhaps it's worth just stepping back and letting her get on with it. We all have these phases. We all change.