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Supporting an alcoholic? - January 9th 2009, 06:38 AM

Hey guys, I was wondering, what would you guys do to help someone who has become an alcoholic, but doesn't see it?

My brother drinks everynight, in large amounts, and he's changed so much since he's been drinking alot. Ive tryed to show him but he just gets angry and says it's not true. I want to support him, but it's obviously going to be hard if he won't let me. Maybe someone here can help me out? I don't know what to say to him anymore.

This is my frist time asking for help in the forums, so I'm interested to see how it goes. Thanks in advance!
   
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - January 9th 2009, 07:31 AM

Hi there Nik, well done on your first post! I hope you get the help you want.

The only advice I can give you with dealing with an alcoholic is they need to do things in their own time. You can't show your brother anything he doesn't want to see. I know its hard and you will hate it, but you need to step back and wait for him to see it himself. An addict cannot change unless they WANT to do it for themselves. Thats the whole point of an addiction, it takes over and you stop being yourself.

I think its nice that you care so much, hes very lucky for having such a supportive family. Be there for him as much as you can, as a friend and a brother. Try not to nag him about the drinking, as he will just get angry and feel like you are against him. But you need to let him know that you don't agree with it. Above all else though, you need to make him aware that you are on his side, so when he does eventually want to stop and change (which will hopefully be soon), he feels he can come to you for help.

I hope this helped and was the help you were searching for. Again, well done for being so understanding and trying to help him. I hope it goes well for you both x
   
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - January 9th 2009, 02:07 PM

Thanks for taking the time to reply!
it did help and I agree, i think im going to backoff of him and let him figure things out for a bit.

Thanks
   
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - January 10th 2009, 05:32 AM

Good for you. I really think it will help, and I hope it does. If you ever need any support, you know where I am. This is going to be rough for you too x x
   
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - February 2nd 2009, 03:06 PM

hey its alright when people say give them time -they'll get through it and stuff but it's not true. i have an alcoholic mother and she had been that way since before i was born, she is a major bitch some night and others she's really good. she starts fights with my father and is the reason my brother moved out to his girlfriends, im almost 18 and almost finished school so i'll be free soon but shes on drugs for a back problem too and that is my major fear. she'll get depressed too much and hurt herself out of anger or something. i have agreat support system with my best friend and my sister that lives overseas.i have great teachers and classes and counsellors that have helped me ever since yr 7 when i came into school extremely confused and had no idea how to cope considering i thought it was my fault but they taught me better than blaming myself.
you see from this that if you dont help him NOW and he goes on to have a family- that family will suffer. even your family will suffer. dont rush in though just sit him down one day or even a day he looks calm and start the conversation with something like 'um can i talk to you about something?' this will give them the impression its a problem of YOURS and it will open them up a bit. just calmly tell them 'you are becoming an addict and you are hurting yourself' or even better-go on the internet and print off some facts about alcohol and shove them into his face and say READ!
my mother has become the reason that my dad and i have become so close because of the fact that when i tell him something, he wont repeat it- mum will tell it to brazil and everyone from here to there on the way when she meets johnny! (jim beam!)

dont let it get that far okay?!

mail me plz and let me know how it is goin,
   
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - February 2nd 2009, 11:26 PM

Shoving Internet papers in his face sounds like a pretty lousy way to approach it. If he's not drinking, he may have a hangover and not want to read, or suppose he's depressed, it may make him drink even more. However, the ideas of calming talking to him while sober seems like a good idea. A better idea would be to somehow get them into rehab. An antibuse (simple terms, a medication) to help with chronic alcoholism is disulfuram. It interferes with how the alcohol is metabolized and produces the bad, hangover effects. This way, alcohol is now bad and not relieving, so it helps take them off. But, use therpay and rehab with it.
   
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - February 12th 2009, 12:49 AM

Do not enable him in any way. It's a huge mistake people make with addicts. You've done all you can. It's gonna take him time until he sees what's going on and he might not realize it until he hits bottom.
   
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - February 14th 2009, 01:04 PM

Hey man,

I think your causing more harm then you are good. By supporting him, he feels that with alcohol in his life he can still live the way he would without it, but even better. You know what makes an alcholic or drug addict stop? When his/her family, friends and work just drop. Although this CAN lead to depression and possibly even suicide. Alcoholism is a delicate situation. But for you, I'd try and get him help and support him to BEING SOBER not being HUNG OVER.

I meant no disrespect in this post, I just meant to show you how you can really help him. I know you care about him, so yeah.

All the best,
Brendan



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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - February 16th 2009, 05:45 AM

Well, I can relate to your post a lot. My family is going through the same thing right now. My mother is accusing my father of supporting my prescription drug abuse problem. She says that he would take me to the doctor and that is the same as reaching me the pills. The thing is my Dad didn't know what kind of drugs I was getting from the doctor he just thought that I was getting some kind of anti-depressant and some anxiety medicine.
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Re: Supporting an alcoholic? - February 16th 2009, 05:45 AM

Oh yeah they have to find someone to blame or it is their fault. sorry I didn't put that in my last post.
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