Ex-boyfriend on pot

[ShadowDancing]

As strange as it sounds, I still keep in touch with my first and only ex-boyfriend. He's always had problems coping, and has had many obstacles to get over in life. He's been doing a lot of pot, and insists that he doesn't need any help. But he's 16, and losing control of himself.

I've already told my guidance counselor, who promised to call his school and parents. She says the school hasn't called her back, but it's been months and she hasn't done anything else to help. My mom knows as well, but doesn't address it. Who else can I turn to?

[Thirteen]

Well, how often and how much is he smoking? Maybe it really isn't a problem, or maybe he's in denial. Either way, you've done all you really can, it seems.

[ShadowDancing]

Originally Posted by Thirteen

Well, how often and how much is he smoking? Maybe it really isn't a problem, or maybe he's in denial. Either way, you've done all you really can, it seems.

I don't know exactly, but he smokes a lot daily, and he is in denial. Plus, there's always the possibility that he's on other drugs that I just don't know about.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

He won't do considerable short-term damage to his health using only pot. There are long-term consequences but pot is considered to be one of the least harmful illegal drugs, one of the easiest to break from its "addiction", etc... . If he's having some issues then pot is his way of dealing with them. There may be healthier ways but you're doing no good if you just try to get him off pot because then he presumably has no resource to turn to. If you want to help him, you've done your best for addressing the pot smoking but you could help him with the issues he's facing, ignoring the pot after all, that's a reason why he's using the pot and other drugs. You can get him off all the drugs possible but the issues he's facing are still there. If you address the issues, then you're hitting the roots of the issues. If you focus on getting him off the pot and other drugs, you may be preventing further issues but you're not helping him with the ones he's facing.

[Gidig]

Hey,

I don't think it's weird you've maintained contact with your ex-boyfriend. And it's certainly not uncommon to still care about an ex's wellbeing. But there comes a certain point, where you have to step back and let them do what they're going to do. You can't stop someone from doing drugs yourself. Even if you get him sent to rehab, if he wants to keep smoking he will. The best way is to try to get through to him to make the decision to ask for help on his own in my opinion and from experience. You can't stress yourself out worrying about him though. Make sure to take care of yourself, and if you feel overwhelmed, speak with your guidance counselor.

Ala-Non and AlaTeen have always been great ways for me to deal with friends and family on drugs/alcohol. It basically teaches you how to help people, and how to care for people without stressing yourself out. It may be worth looking into if you're struggling with this. =)

I'd probably sit down and explain your concerned. Ask him more about his usage, and what he thinks about it and if he's noticed it affecting his life in anyway. You can even try to get him to make a pro/con list with you and see if he still thinks the pros outweigh the cons. Most of all, press the point that you want to make sure whether he's smoking or not, that he's safe. As in not driving, not getting laced weed, if he's doing other drugs having babysitters and so forth.

Best of luck, I hope all turns out well.
Maria.