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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Care-o-Bear Offline
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:( - March 22nd 2009, 07:13 PM

So my boyfriend's friend and I have starting becoming good friends. I don't have many friends and I'm shy, so I always welcome the chance for someone new to call a friend. Well, I met this girl ("Annie") maybe 2 months ago and she is already closer to me than my current closest friend ("Ellie"). Ellie would strongly disapprove about how my relationship is starting to get sexual. But Annie knows a few general details, both from my boyfriend and from me. She's just a great person, friendly and outgoing and silly. I really "fell for her" in a purely friendship type way. She is already the best friend I've had since 5th grade. We had so many jokes together and with my boyfriend.
Well, last night I went to his house and found out that she wants to try pot over spring break. Apparently she also tried alcohol once and got really drunk. But her trying pot, even only once, is too much for my boyfriend. We were texting her for a while last night and he told her if she does decide to try it, he won't talk to her anymore. We both tried to convince her not to. But she says last year she lost a friend because she tried to stop them from trying it and she feels like it's unfair for her to judge without having tried it once. I think she's making a stupid decision because she could get addicted. I'm not sure I want to stop talking to her, but I'm not sure things can be the same after last night.
I totally miss her already. I'm not sure if I'm going to still be her friend. Even if I am, things will have changed. And my boyfriend I don't think is going to talk to her at all anymore. I already miss the jokes and goofiness between the 3 of us. It's harder for me because I have so few friends, it breaks my heart to be losing her and the amazing silly, fun times all three of us have had.
Basically, I know I can't change her decision. I've already tried to talk her out of it and there's nothing more I can do or say. But I'm just wanting to know if there's anything I can do to help her. And what the best option would be as far as keeping her as a friend. This is so hard, I'm just not sure what to do!


   
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Re: :( - March 22nd 2009, 10:00 PM

Caroline,

This is a tricky situation. In one hand, teenagers experiment, and if she only does it once, then it is not going to hurt anybody. But on the other hand, she knows how much you disapprove of it and yet she still wants to do it? I am not sure if that really qualifies as friend material. I know if my friend didnít want me to do something that badly that I wouldnít. Especially when it comes to something illegal in most places. I think this is something you are going to have to figure out for yourself. Do you want to be associated with those who do illegal drugs? Someone who is going to do something even though several of her friends asked, practically begged her not to? It is up to you who you would be friends with. Honestly, I donít know if I would stay friends with her after this. But it is your call.




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: :( - March 22nd 2009, 10:13 PM

Omg! I'm so happy! She texted me about an hour ago and said she's probably not. Last night, she was at the point of she probably will. Now she's not totally sure but she's probably not going to. I told her I'm proud of her and my boyfriend and I are so happy! This is amazing! And she and I agreed to just never bring up this topic and I will accept her and still be her friend. YAY!

But thank you for the advice!


   
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Re: :( - March 24th 2009, 02:38 PM

I think you two are completely overreacting with her. That's not fair to put her in a situation like that. It seems that neither of you really know the effects or research of pot, especially since you think she can get addicted, which you cannot with pot. It's only a mental attachment you can form with it which does'nt happen that often. Anything you put infront of a human being can be addicting. so I think it's really mean and unfair to treat your friend like that. trying pot once will not harm her. almost 50% of the population in the U.S. has tried pot or alcohol. Give her a chance to explain and see her side of the story. if you wanted to try something new and one of your friends or boyfriend didn't approve would you think it fair to be dumped just like that? That's not cool. I know you're worrying about her, but give her a break. It's not like once a person tries a drug they're automatically tainted. Don't treat people like that. If you aren't comfortable with it, then ask her to have the courtesy of not doing it around you and if things start to escalate to other drugs and addiction, then be there to help her until you feel you can't anymore. That's a true friend.
   
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Re: :( - March 24th 2009, 02:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Care-o-Bear View Post
Omg! I'm so happy! She texted me about an hour ago and said she's probably not. Last night, she was at the point of she probably will. Now she's not totally sure but she's probably not going to. I told her I'm proud of her and my boyfriend and I are so happy! This is amazing! And she and I agreed to just never bring up this topic and I will accept her and still be her friend. YAY!

But thank you for the advice!
Seems like the problem is sorted then. I'm going to close this so you don't get a bunch of replies saying the same thing. Please PM me if you want it re-opened though. :]


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