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Question what am i supposed to say? - November 5th 2011, 06:06 AM

mum smelt my breath this morning and she could smell alcahol i didnt know what i was supposed to say they always call me a failure and fucked in the head so i was kinda just proving them right, she went through my room and found many razors, my stash of alcahol and my ciggies, she keeps trying to confront me about it but i dont know what to say so i just get mad and end up running to my room, i dont know what i should do
   
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Re: what am i supposed to say? - November 6th 2011, 04:10 AM

Honestly, you kind of deserved it.

I hate to say it, but no matter what you say, at least she cares enough to tell you that this is wrong. Alcohol, self harm and smoking cigarettes are all harmful behaviours and can very easily end your life short. In America alone 5,000 people under 21 die in situation involving their alcohol usage (Drunk driving accidents, etc.)
Smoking contributes to lung cancer, which is one of the leading forms of cancer in the entire world. Self-harm is an addictive behaviour based on self-hate. Low self esteems puts you at risk of involving yourself in potentially abusive or dangerous relationships with friends, authority and romantic partners.

You need to understand that you screwed up big time. You broke the law. You made a mistake. What you need to do is talk this out. Explain why you took up the behaviours (You said it had to do with their treatment of you and their expectations) and you need to apologize for your inapropriate reaction to their inaproprate action. (The drinking, smoking, self harm.) you need both be honest about this, and come to a conclusion that involves your mother supporting you more, and you stopping these negative behaviours.

Yelling at her, or being defensive isn't going to help. You buggered up, she buggered up. Failing to admit the two of you messed up is not making your life any better. Talk this through, keep yourself calm and keep your emotions in check. Have a long talk about how you both can put in an effort to help the problem.

If you need any advice on how to initiate a talk, or what to do afterwards, feel free to PM me, or continue to reply to this thread.

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Re: what am i supposed to say? - November 6th 2011, 08:30 AM

Your mother cares enough to take your razors, alcohol and cigarettes away, as well as try to talk to you (albeit aggressively) and you run away in a temper tantrum. My sympathy goes to your mother who is trying to help her daughter but I'd be lying if I said I felt any sympathy for you. It may be hard but face the music, have her talk with you even if you don't know what to say or get angry. Every time you run off from her or refuse to listen, not only are you digging a larger hole to climb out of, you're also screwing over your mother because she wants to help but all she sees is her daughter doing this. You strain your relationship with your mother.

Normally I'd say it's not right for a parent to insult their child by calling them a fuck up but I don't hold that against your mother as she's saying it not out of hatred but out of frustration. After you two sit down and talk, later you can ask her to not call you a fuck up since you have improved.


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Re: what am i supposed to say? - November 6th 2011, 10:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man And XX Master View Post
Your mother cares enough to take your razors, alcohol and cigarettes away, as well as try to talk to you (albeit aggressively) and you run away in a temper tantrum. My sympathy goes to your mother who is trying to help her daughter but I'd be lying if I said I felt any sympathy for you. It may be hard but face the music, have her talk with you even if you don't know what to say or get angry. Every time you run off from her or refuse to listen, not only are you digging a larger hole to climb out of, you're also screwing over your mother because she wants to help but all she sees is her daughter doing this. You strain your relationship with your mother.

Normally I'd say it's not right for a parent to insult their child by calling them a fuck up but I don't hold that against your mother as she's saying it not out of hatred but out of frustration. After you two sit down and talk, later you can ask her to not call you a fuck up since you have improved.
Basically, the exact thing I would have said. Not to mention, I assume you're under the legal age, so you're committing a misdemeanor, you are in the wrong here (morally, and legally!).


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