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alee
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Name: Alee
Age: 22
Gender: Female
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Join Date: November 11th 2011

Exclamation 13 is wayyt oo young. - November 11th 2011, 09:26 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

im15 now. but when i was 13 i started tsaking pills. smoking weed,cigarettes, drinking.i started to do all this stuff cuz i wanted to feel numb. i hated myslef. ive been cutting myself for 4 years now. iv'e been caught 3 times and its really hard to stop. 2 months before i turned 14 i started hanging out with my friends who smoked pot and popped pills and sometimes even shot up into there veins. as for most people they start off with weed then go into everything else. as for me i started off with pills( acid to be excat) ever since then its all been a downhill. about a month and a half later i would eb drinking weed tea, popping 9 pills of acid and exctacy snorting meth and smoking. all at the same time, i started to realize that smokeing weed was doing nothing. it was very weak for me. i started to take more pills and i snorted a few times a day of meth and herione. i got so bad i would snort up in the middles schools bathroom an sometimes even in the grass area. then i started talking to my one friend whos name is frankie. we talked for a long time and he wanted me to give him a blowjob. i finally said ok and in febuary of 2011 i did in the church parking lot, aftwer i snuck away and smoked pot with some buddies that i just met. my parents found out about frankie the next night and they found otu i was smoking pot. thank god they didnt find out about anything else i was dooing. i was grounded under heavy watch. in early may i came out to them and told them i was bisexual, and that i ahd a girlfreind, my mom was ok with it but my dad had a hard time. we had sex alot even though my parents never realized it. while i was with her it was kinda a open relationship so i had oral sex with a guy and had sex with my friend whos also a girl. then we broke up. durng all this time my pill poping had slowed down and i stopped snorting. but now that my feelings are back all i want to do is die. i have no odea what to do but im tryinhg the butterfly project so my whole arm,legs and chest is covered in butterfiles. please help me. i have alot of pain inside and i dont know what to do anymore about any of it. there are kids at my school who snicker whenever i walk past and on the occasional time i get trash and old water bottles thrown at me. im over this stuff. i just need help before i get pushed over the edge... im already hanging by a cliff. dont let fall.


Now hold on, this is innocent blood, all the beach boys look like sharks
... Oh, because without you nothing ever mattered.
I scream and wave my arms, but you dont understand me.
Now as i watch them feed on you, it's over
If I die, you die, too
   
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arashkzadeh Offline
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Re: 13 is wayyt oo young. - November 18th 2011, 08:48 PM

You know what you should do, is substitute your addictions with other things you are passionate about. I had a similar upbringing and problems, I managed to get through life through music and nature. Listen to Cat Stevens (do a youtube search) especially the song "Wind" and "MoonShadow" I guarantee you will get out of the turmoil you are in and make it! Take a walk and see the trees and nature and think of yourself in a different world, a pure world. It helps, that is now my new heaven in life. Hope this helps!


- Arash Dadashzadeh
   
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